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Post by nicola1712 on Mar 10, 2009 20:13:44 GMT
Yup, this is how it would have gone with my DH too:
Shall we do something different today? Well what do you want to do. Perhaps go for a drive to x Oh well, we can't because x y and z Well what do you suggest? Well I don't know, I am happy just staying in. I DONT WANT TO JUST STAY IN AND LO IS BORED - HELP ME FIND THINGS TO DO! Well I dont know, you know about these things more than me.....
Aaaaggghh!! Useless I tell ya....
xx
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Post by winegirl on Mar 11, 2009 20:30:11 GMT
My hubby is `whatever you want to do..'
I WANT YOU TO MAKE A DAMNED SUGGESTION!! LOL x
WG xx
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Post by cokey on Mar 12, 2009 20:08:38 GMT
nice to know its men in general then lol xx
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Post by winegirl on Mar 14, 2009 19:06:12 GMT
How are you doing Lara?? Are you having a good weekend??
WG xxxx
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Mar 16, 2009 21:29:43 GMT
Hi All,
Thanks for your posts and concerns.
Hi Cokey....thanks for you message....I'll have to catch up with your diary. I do atually read other peoples' diaries too but feel like sometimes making a comment when you don't usually is like I am hijacking their diary...if that makes sense!?! But it is lovely to hear from anyone so feel free to write whenever you want...I will have to catch up on yours and see what is going on for you at the moment.
Since I last posted I have been very up and down. I am due on at any time and have had period pains for the last few days but with no sign of anything. I know it is affection my mood but it's hard to tell how much. I keep getting angry and feel really intolerent at things...kids included....it's not really like me but it can just be anxiety in itself.....it's hard to know what is PMT and what is not.
I went to my doctors in the week for a chat. I saw a different doctor than usual and he said that I should try amitriptyline. I was a bit shocked because I thought that was a really powerful drug and it frightened me a bit. He said that it would help with my sleeping which isn't really and issue but that I would get better sleep and that I should feel more relaxed during the day. It sounds good but seeing as I am taking the full dose of Citalopram surely that should be helping my anxiety. I feel a bit loathe to start taking a new drug as well. I think I might start a new thread to see if anyone else has ever taken it before. Could do with some advice. The doc said he would rather give me that than diazepam. I did point out that I don't take diazepam all of the time just when I have a really bad panic atttack. I think I would feel happier them although I do have a few left.
I also went and saw my counsellor on Thurs. I aired my concerns about the amitriptyline and she said that I need to take more time out to relax each day. She said that it is really important to have more stuff for me. I do agree with her. She said that I should have half an hour each day where I have total peace and quiet and just lay down and relax. I could do this when Rod comes home but there is dinner to do and the kids are awful and by the time that is all over I am going to bed anyway. I have, though, decided to get myself a diary to carry with me at all times. That way I can totally plan my day and also jot down things when they come into my head. I have so much going on and have a bad short term memory so hopefully that will halp to lift the burden on my brain.
I'm just sitting here now and could cry...I don't know why...mental exhaustion...or maybe just because I am going to come on at any time. Rod worked all weekend so didn't really get out much. Saturday I spent in all day doing cleaning and washing and tidying....the same thing I do all week and by saturday night I felt really depressed. On sunday I decided to get up and get out. I drove over to my mums and my sister and her OH and kids were there which was nice...it was gorgeous weather but I still felt really shitty. I kept yring not to have thoughts and enjoy the day but then I would think that although I am not having thoughts now they will come back again and the only way they will go is if I'm not here....how horrible...this kept setting me off into a mini panic and it's like a vicious circle.
Anyway....had a re;atively good day today...went to toddlers and then met a friend at the local soft play and had lunch. Came home and kids played in the garden while I sorted dinner. Once it started to get dark and bath and bedtime came round I started feeling anxious and have done since....am hoping to find something fairly low key on telly soon so I can go and relax for a while. Tomorrow morning I have tots and then my best mate is coming over for lunch with her 5 month old twins. I have only seen them twice since they were born so am looking forward to that. I also want to take Jamoe to the docs to get his chest listened to. He has his follow up xray a week on weds to see if his lung has reinflated. He has had a cold over the last couple of weeks and has a little bit of a cough which is quite rattley so just wanna get it checked. Although he is fine in himself I think I am still a bit worried that it could all come back again because he still had a hole in his lung when we left hospital and they have never done that with any children before so he has been a bit of a guinea pig in that sense. I jus't can't wait until he gets the all clear and then I will be able to get rid of that nagging worry.
I'm off now...I'm guessing this is quite a long post and am all typed out for now.
x
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Post by cokey on Mar 16, 2009 22:10:52 GMT
Gosh we really are so similar in our symptoms Lara, its weird reading your diary because it could be me.
The thing being stuck in the house, that gets me depressed too. I don't actually think thats causing the depressed feelings but it just heightens any we had due to metal tiredness. I know from having PNI before that once it passes, the mundaneness of life doesnt even bother me.
I nedd to go back and read right through your diary because I don't know your history. Its sounds like you havent had an easy time of it, so its no wonder you have PNI.
Take careand enjoy the time with the twins tomorrow.
Cokey xx
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Post by sianyc on Mar 17, 2009 10:18:55 GMT
Used to get me down too. That was the main reason I forced myself out most days. I just couldn't bear the whole day stretching out in front of me.
The kids nagged at me less when we were in the park too!
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Post by nicola1712 on Mar 17, 2009 13:45:51 GMT
I get soooo down when stuck in the house all day too - have to have something planned to get out, even if it just going to the library or park...anything!
xx
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Mar 18, 2009 16:02:48 GMT
Hi All,
Since my last post I have been feeling a lot better. I think the weather has helped immensely because it feels like summer but I also found that reading Cokey's diary really helped me. It was particularly the bit about how her thoughts spiralled out of control and silly things like being worried about slapping a baby's head. I think it is the randomness of the thoughts...although they may be funny sometimes and distressing the next I do sometimes think I am a fight weirdo but to read someone elses and for it to be so like mine makes me feel more at ease.
I'v had a mentally busy last 3 days...OH worked to about 7 last night and is again tonight si I have been exhausted by the time the kids are in bed. I really wanted an afternoon of rest today but that hasn't happened because I've been flying around doing everything so I will make up for it this evening and tomorrow.
I'mm off to sort some washing then I guess I'll crack on with the tea.
x
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Mar 18, 2009 16:04:30 GMT
My spelling is atrocious...I need to slow down!!!
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Post by winegirl on Mar 18, 2009 16:52:57 GMT
LOL - glad you are feeling better hun. I have alsoe found that the nicer weather helps. We all out to put abid in to the lottery for funding to get us all light boxes for the winter!!
Hope you manage to get your feet up when hubby gets back (mine is never back till 8pm so know what its like)
Lots of love
WG xx
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Post by cokey on Mar 18, 2009 17:43:29 GMT
LOL my diary entries are so bad Lara that I am sure you all think I am dyslexic (not thats theres anything wrong with being dyslexic) I just type too fast lol Glad you seem a bit better and likewise your diary calms me too. Cokey xx
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Post by cokey on Mar 21, 2009 8:14:16 GMT
Hi Lara
Just wanted to say Happy Mothers Day for tomorrow cos I wont be online tomorrow. Have a really nice day and be proud of what you have achieved.
Candice xx
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Mar 24, 2009 20:56:49 GMT
Hi All,
Thanks Cokey....had an ok day apart from feeling crap in myself....
This week has been really shit. The whole time I am feeling really anxious and depressed. As soon as I feel a little bit better and forget about worrying I just have this really horrible feeling that I will feel crap again so there is no point trying to feel good. I's like a vicious circle that I can't seem to break. I felt fine last week but by friday afternoon I had started to feel low and by the time OH got home from work I just wanted him to sort the kids out so that I could switch off totally....it kind of went down hill from there really. I did come on thursday so there could have been an element of hormones involved and I did go through a phase last year after coming out of a bad blip where about half way through my period I felt really shit and depressed which seemed to resolve itself a few days after I finished. OH took me out to dinner on Saturday night and I found it so hard to relax and have fun....I was a bit like a zombie...he kept saying that I was quiet which i didn't think I was but I just didn't feel chatty. I seem to be analysing my feelings and thoughts all of the time....as soon as I start to remotely enjoy myself and realise so I just think that I will feel crap again and feel down again....it's like I don't want myself to feel better and enjoy being down (which I don't)
I am going to take Jamie for his 6 week check up at hospital tomorrow for his lung. When I took him to the docs last week for a cough he said that his lung was clear but that he could hear restrictd air entry into it so I am not expecting them to say that he is totally better but if his lung has partially reinflated that would be good. I am just worried that if it hasn't changed at all they will want to keep him in and I will have to stay in with him miles from home or that they will have to remove his lung and he will only have one lung....probably a bit far fetched but it is all going through my head. I think that this is causing me to feel a bit stressed at the moment so I just want to get tomorrow over with. Also OH is off on a stag weekend next thursday....he goes thurs morning and comes back sunday night and I am dreading being without him. I feel so bad at the moment and I feel safer when he is around. I do have his family around and some friends but it's not the same as your OH who you can tell all of your thoughts and fears and be a jibbering wreck with. He did go to Florida last year for a week and I got through that with just one big panic attack but I had been feeling really well and hadn't had a big panic attack for a long while. I remember thinking at the time that if I can get through a week with him being all the way over in florida then I can get through him being in Prague for 4 days. I wasn't bothered at all but not I feel so crap I am dreading it. He keeps asking me if I will be okay and just keep telling him not talk about it. I'm trying not to think about it until I need to. I know that if I really wanted to I could ask him not to go but a) I wouldn't want to spoil his fun and b) it would make me feel even worse knowing that he was staying at home for me and that we had lost over £300. I don't think these two things are helping my cause.
Anyway...babbled for too long.....off to catch up with everyone else and get some positiveness from somewhere x
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Post by winegirl on Mar 29, 2009 8:33:39 GMT
Hey Lara
Sorry you are going through it. I know it is easier said than done, but try as hard as you can not to analyse it all, It just starts a vicious circle - try to make yourslef think of other things wjen you start analysing if you can, it really does help xx
How did Jamie's lung check up? Is he ok? And how are you doing this weekend??
Thinking of you xx
WG xx
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