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Post by littlelotty on Feb 3, 2009 12:03:26 GMT
Hi Hun
You are not an idiot. You are a lovely person who has not been well. I do think they could of spoke to you differently and that what he did say probably didnt really help! Try to keep focused on Jack and your very strong desire to see him. You deserve to see him as you are his mum. Hang in there hun and keep going, things will improve, things just need to change.
take care hun
Littlelotty
xx
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Post by winegirl on Feb 3, 2009 13:24:51 GMT
They will mate, I know it is taking a long time for you, but I promise there is light at the end..
Who teh hell is this Psychiatrist?? I would love to know where in his training he was taught to advise his patients to just `try harder'. Moron. You have been doing GREAT with the self harm mate and should be proud of yourself, dont listen to this fool. He was probably to busy wondering what time he was gonna get on teh golf course or something...
You have plans to keep you busy today hun??
WG x
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Post by monica on Feb 3, 2009 16:34:37 GMT
Your psychiatrist belongs to the 'pull yourself together crowd' - comments that I got from several sources - if we could we would have ages ago!
How are you finding the psychologist - are the sessions hleping. Dont' worry about crying - it's probably a good and healthy think after all you are discussing such painful issues in your life.
Two weeks is great re: self harm. I know it's hard but you can do it. The blips are tremendously difficutl to get through but there will be good times I promise you.
Have you had any news re: visits with Jack or are you still waiting on the cafcas hearing?
Love
Monica
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Feb 3, 2009 19:23:50 GMT
still not any further forward with seeing Jack. Waiting for the courts to get in touch with a date and it feels like its taking forever. All the forms were sent on 4th december and they just dragging there heels. Tried chasing it up but not had any replies. Its getting too much for me though and every day I am getting upset over it and crying. Its really wearing me down and making me feel so sad and frustrated because there isnt anything I can do
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Post by winegirl on Feb 4, 2009 14:53:26 GMT
Give me the solicitors number and let me ring! Honestly I wouldnt get off the phone without a timescale!! Hows things today mate??
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Feb 4, 2009 16:41:18 GMT
I managed to have my appointment with my cpn without bursting into tears - so pleased as I hate crying and its even worse in front of people. Have massive issues with crying as when i was in an abusive relationship I wasnt allowed to cry becasue that meant I was weak and stupid and if I did I would just get another beating so I learnt not to cry. All been ok for years until now and thats all I seem to need to do and cant stop it and it makes me feel so bad and ashamed and annoyed that I give in and cry.
Got letter of solicitor today asking me to confirm I have agreed to paying a contribution to legal aid (which i cant believe considering I only get incapacity benefit) and hopefully things will start to move
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Post by winegirl on Feb 9, 2009 12:47:30 GMT
They want money off you?! Am i missing something? Do you have a lottery win that you have kept quiet or something?
Dont feel bad about crying mate. Its a good sign that it is starting to come out, just shows that you are finally letting go a bit.
How has your weekend been? Seen on FB that you are off to teh gym today! Do a bit of a jog on the treadmill for me as I should go today too...
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Feb 9, 2009 21:17:53 GMT
Yeah they want £12.50 a month off me. I know its not a lot but its still money I dont really have. Already trying to make ends meet as it is. They think because I am on higher rate Incap Benefit and get most of rent and council tax paid that I have plenty left to give them. Im not too bothered if it means they are finally going to do something and get this case to court. I got the public funding certificate on friday so hopefully they have forwarded the case on to the courts. Maybe another week or two and I will finally hear from them with a date. I just wish they would hurry up as I miss Jack so much and just want to see him.
Went to psychology and didnt cry today!!! We talked about the reasons why I wont cry and why I feel its a bad thing which meant we had to talk about what my abusive ex did, how my parents brought me up and the bullying i suffered at school which contributed to me not crying incase i got picked on more. We also talked about my unhappiness at the scars all over my arms and legs and that they wont go away and how I am always going to have to hide them from Jack and all the regret I have that I did all that to myself. I was supposed to be helping out a a friends sons swim party yesterday but then on sat my friend said she would rather i didnt help becuase of what other people might see and say. So made me feel like crap and made me ralise that it will be the same with Jack as he grows up.
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Post by winegirl on Feb 10, 2009 12:54:16 GMT
Hi Shell
Its only one part of your life with Jack though, and lots of the scars will fade and there will be ways round it. Try not to dwell on it hun x
You have plans for today hun?
WG x
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Post by monica on Feb 11, 2009 8:54:43 GMT
Hi
How are you? Did the psychology help? Was it a bit of a release? Fingers crossed you get a court date soon.
AS wg said, scars will fade. This difficult period of your life wont' be forever, sweetheart.
Love
Monica
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Post by bean on Feb 15, 2009 0:05:05 GMT
Hi Shell
Just wondering how you are. and what you been up to. Well done on all that swimming you must be Mrs Superfit. The most exercise i get is my fingers on this place lol.
Hope you ok hun, take care
big hugs bean xx
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Feb 17, 2009 22:02:43 GMT
Well I dunno how I have done it but somehow managed 4 weeks without any self harm! I should feel happy and proud of myself for it but for some reason I dont feel happy at all and I dont even want to reward myself in any way for it. I think its because I always get to about week 5 and give in so I know that the battle is far from over yet.
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Post by winegirl on Feb 19, 2009 18:06:19 GMT
well theres next challenge then - to prove to yourself you CAN go beyond 5 weeks!!
How you doing today mate??
WG xx
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michelle79
Senior Member
mummy to Jack born 2004 and had pni since his birth
Posts: 471
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Post by michelle79 on Feb 21, 2009 19:32:31 GMT
Well now I have passed the month mark lol
Feeling so much more positve than I have for a long time. Also helps tht I have an interview to do some voluntary work in a nursery which will help me get experience and knowledge before I start the childcare course in september. Also hoping it will help me in my recovery and give me some purpose in life. Fingers crossed for the interview on wednesday.
Feeling rather lonely tonight as usual - dont think I will ever get over that. Just trying to watch rubbish tv.
Shell xxx
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Post by winegirl on Feb 22, 2009 22:07:32 GMT
You can do it Shell!! And yes it will be great for you in loads of different ways!
What times the interview??
WG x
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