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Post by nicola1712 on Jun 24, 2009 19:15:07 GMT
WG's right - he is prob just trying to keep his distance from you at the moment to sort his own feelings out and give you some space, but in time will prob feel able to talk to you again.
You are the mother of his child and he can't forget that - my hubby's best mate who split with his wife, doesn't particularly like her anymore cos of what she did but he still to this day says I don't love her anymore but she is the mother of my children and I care about what happens to her.
Hope you are doing ok and the aches ease off soon.
xxx
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Post by winegirl on Jun 26, 2009 20:05:34 GMT
Dude!!
Great to hear from you yesterday xx
How have things been for you today mate? I am thinking of you xx.
WG x
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jun 29, 2009 7:30:46 GMT
Hi ladies
Just thought i would update. Matt is still at his mum's and still barely speaking to me. I feel a little better about things, still gutted that it had to be this way and very wounded that matt doesn't seem at all heartbroken or bothered. But i think i knew deep down that he didn't love me anyway.
I've got so much to do. Still trying to decorate Violet's bedroom so that i can move her out of my room and decorate that too. It's just so difficult with a toddler to even know where to start. But i'm determined that today i will get in there and do something. Although the weather looks beautiful and the park seems more appealing hmmmm, what to do?!
Hlow is everyone? xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Jun 29, 2009 15:47:48 GMT
LOL - I am guessing the park won mate??
x
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Post by nicola1712 on Jun 29, 2009 19:16:11 GMT
Hmm yeah - sweaty painting or ice creams in the park - not har chooice there!!
xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jul 6, 2009 7:30:30 GMT
Hi ladies
How is everyone? Feel like absolute shit today. I didn't sleep well last night, kept waking and don't feel very rested this morning. Anxiety is through the roof and just feel generally unwell. Feel really sick and got an upset stomach and i just hate this illness. I just miss having someone with me, i know mt mom's here but she works full time and when i wake up on days like this i just feel awful. And i don't feel like i can talk to my friends about it. It's daft i know since i was convinced that being around my friends would be better. It is better, but i just don't feel i can talk to them. I guess because it's my own fault things didn't work with matt, i don't feel i can cry about it to people.
Matt has made his mind up that he's not coming back and i can't cope with his decision. I just don't want to be alone which makes me feel like a failure. it's completely crao, i hate being like this xxxxxxxxxx
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Post by winegirl on Jul 6, 2009 8:43:27 GMT
Hi Hun
You are not gonna be on your own forever. And the time that it is just you and Violet will make you stronger ready for the next relationship.
Im so sorry you are poorly. I know from experience how awful it is being home alone with a baby when you feel like crap.
Sending you hugs mate (())
WG xx
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Post by nicola1712 on Jul 6, 2009 11:42:26 GMT
Hiya
Sorry to hear you are feeling so down at the moment. Try and keep busy though and just enjoy being a good mummy.
As WG says you won't be alone forever and although you feel crap now it does get easier with time.
Thinking of you
xxx
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Post by cokey on Jul 6, 2009 19:37:09 GMT
Hi Becka
I know this is so hard for you right now but you have all your mates here you can talk to.
Your destiny will be what it is and maybe you are destined to be with Matt or maybe you are destined to be with someone new and brilliant. I have had friends break up with long term partners and go through what you are going through and they have met amazing blokes since and are happy. It all just takes time and you are still delicate and this is bound to make you feel crap for a little while but it wont last forever.
Remember the saying 'short term pain = long term gain'.
Candice xx
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Post by winegirl on Jul 8, 2009 19:41:26 GMT
Dude!
You've gone quiet! Everything ok??
WG xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jul 13, 2009 10:33:26 GMT
Hi ladies
Thought i'd pop in for an update. Well, things are still pretty much the same. Matt's still at his mum's and i'm still struggling with it. Really beating myself up over it all as now i can see how horrid i was to him. It is my own stupid fault that i am now single and struggling, i can't believe i made the mistake of thinking that the grass is greener, you would think i would've known by now that it never is. Oh well, coulda, woulda, shoulda. Don't get me wrong although i am gutted and wish i could make things right, i still feel ok. Not anywhere near recovered or even well, but just ok.
I keep having my blippy moments, OCD goes wild and i start questioning what the point in it all is. I know it's OCD and i know i will never know the answers to the questions and that is more than likely the reason why these are the things i obssess about.
I looked after my friend's little boy on saturday night, he's only 12 weeks old and i was fine, until my mum went to bed. Then the intrusive thoughts started. But i coped and enjoyed myself and it took my mind off the fact that my baby was with her dad.
I'm going for a long walk in a bit with Amy and Raife to a park a few miles away. So that should be a nice afternoon out.
How is everyone else?
xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Jul 13, 2009 16:44:36 GMT
Hope you enjoyed your afternoon??
You know where i am hun (())
WG x
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Post by nicola1712 on Jul 14, 2009 15:03:05 GMT
The grass is never greener hun - I am like that too though, always thinking 'it would be better if....'
I thought it would be better if I was working but then I went back to work and it wasn't, it was worse!
Hope today is a bit better
xx
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Post by winegirl on Jul 17, 2009 7:00:55 GMT
Dude, how have you been the past few days? YOu have gone awfully quiet and wondering if you are ok?
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jul 19, 2009 11:22:37 GMT
Hey ladies Thought i'd pop on and update although there's not really much to report. Do you think i'm recovering? ? I have my occasional blippy moment but they really are just moments nowadays. I tend to text my dear friend Cokey or my dear dude WG and they put my mind at rest and that's enough. Hopefully will let you guys off the hook at some point and you can have a quiet life LOL! I'm off work for two weeks now, got plans to finally finish decorating Violet's room this week. Plus it's my dad's circus of a wedding in Caithness on saturday so we all have to embark on an 11 hour journey woo hoo, can't wait! NOT. But at least it will be a couple of days away. Matt is still coming to the wedding, as i don't want any questions asked about where he is etc. It's just easier to pretend everything's fine for the amount of contact i have with my dad's family. But part of me wants to go on my own and prove that i can do this, i can drive and stay away from home with Violet but then the other part of me thinks that perhaps that would be a little bit too much to take on and to maybe go and stay with a friend a little closer to home first! Matt's been having Violet over night for one night a week and last night i was so bored it was unbelievable! I popped to see a friend for a cuppa and watched a bit of TV but was so unbelievably bored. It sucks! Really must start going out! But on a plus side, it's only 5 weeks until V festival! I'm so excited! Woo hoo! Ooh, also went to see David Gray on thursday night in Gloucestershire. Never been to the place it was at in my life before and was quite nerveracking. It took about 2 hours to get there in friday traffic and i was exhausted when we got home but it was so worth it! Had a fab night. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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