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Post by winegirl on Jul 20, 2009 15:27:14 GMT
I am very jealous about V festival as cant get David to have isabelle for that weekend so cant go... Will you be taking lots of pics for mushbook?
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Aug 2, 2009 15:15:29 GMT
Hi ladies
Feeling a bit dodgy today, almost said blippy but i don't think it's quite that bad. Got sore ribs from something and i'm really uncomfortable but keep getting pains in my upper back and my breathing is shit as i'm suffering with my asthma so all in all am just feeling a bit crappy. I'm so tired, haven't been sleeping well the past few nights and i think that's why i'm feeling rubbish.
Matt's here today as he's come to see Violet. I'm sat on here and he's reading the paper, the communication between us is overwhelming lol!
Am at work tomorrow and tuesday as i've changed my days. At least by doing monday and tuesday, it's out of the way then and i've got the rest of the week ahead of me. Just not looking forward to going back after 2 weeks off :-( hate work, it's rubbish.
How's everyone else?
xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Aug 2, 2009 16:19:09 GMT
Hey Hun
Sorry you are struggling. You think you might go to GP?
Good plan with work Dude, I hope the two days go quick for you!!
Thanks for your help yesterday by the way. Next time I am in brum we should hook up! x
Love
WG xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Oct 1, 2009 18:42:45 GMT
Hi ladies
Just thought i'd pop in for a catch up. Been ok ish. Get my blippy moments, usually before bed and i had a really bizarre moment when i read an article earlier about OCD about a woman who counted her blinks and obviously i started then and am still trying to kick that one... damn OCD :-(
Matt is still away from us, in fact he's going to Houston for work on sunday. He's being really shit about everything and his nan died a few weeks ago and since then has completely forgotten he has a daughter, i know it's horrible to lose someone close but in my eyes he should still be a father and he's not being at all. Tosser.
Gonna head over to the relationship bit, read what i put months ago, see if i can make any sense of anything.
I'm thinking of all you ladies, even when i'm not about xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Oct 3, 2009 9:48:29 GMT
Dude its lovely to see you back here. You are a SUPERSTAR and a great friend xx
I am so sorry that all this is still going off with Matt. What does he do for a living that sends him to the states??
Have you sat down with him yet and laid it on the line what his responsibilities as a father are??
Always here mate xx
Love
WG xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Oct 4, 2009 15:37:00 GMT
Hey WG
Aah you're really kind, i've always quite fancied being a superstar! Feel ok at the moment, dare i tempt fate?! Have just been over to the relationship bit before here so have pretty much said it all there.
Matt's an arse, that's all i can manage here! LOL
xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Oct 5, 2009 19:42:41 GMT
Yeah hun, I am making an effort to go in the relationship bit every day now - god knows why I forget it!
Hope you have a lovely time tonight hun, so sorry I am not there too - gutted. Def will be next time!!
Take it easy dude xx
WG x
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Oct 6, 2009 9:04:54 GMT
Hey ladies
Thought i'd cheer you all up with a typical Beckah story. Went to see my favourite band in the whole world last night in birmingham and they did a meet and greet after, which was a huge deal for me lol! Anyway, everyone had bought albums for them to sign and i couldn't get the guy selling them's attention so i ended up in the line empty handed and i said "i haven't got anything for you to sign but i wanted to ask your permission to have some of your lyrics tattooed". Such a groupie thing to say. Thing is, i write too, poems, songs etc and i think it's respectful to ask someone before you use their work for something so personal, especially as their music is very personal to the front man as he writes alot of it and suffers with his own mental health so as you can imagine it is quite relevant stuff for me which is why i think i identify. Anyway, that's enough justification, i was a complete groupie. He seemed pleased anyway that i wanted to use his lyrics, shook my hand and gave me a kiss which completely sent me over the edge lol.
On a serious note though, when i got home my OCD kicked in that i had made a fool of myself and i couldn't shake it. Made worse by the fact that Amy was with me and she was laughing her head off at me which at the time didn't bother me but as soon as i got home i was really embarrassed with myself! I went to bed really anxious and i had the internal tremors thing that i haven't had for ages. Really pissed off that something like that could cause that. But there is other stuff going on at the moment that might have been behind the anxiety and this just triggered me last night.
Stupid girl! Why couldn't i just be cool LOL. Nevermind ey, was still a great night!
Heard off Matt, he's safely in America and out of my hair LOL. Plan for this week is that i really must finish painting my bedroom! My internet is playing up at home but engineer is coming out tomorrow morning so hopefully i'll be back online. If not, it will be monday when i'm back at work.
Take care everyone, i'm thinking of you all, much love xxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by cokey on Oct 6, 2009 10:55:03 GMT
Becka
I can only reiterate what I said last night and that is you were probably great with your front man. Its just anxiety that makes you ruminate afterwards. he probably went home and remembered you because you were sensitive and intelligent.
I would imagine you had adrenalin going through you last night because you were excited and happy and thats just manifested into anxiety. We read so much into our emotions now don't you think.
How are you today?
Candice xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Oct 6, 2009 11:24:34 GMT
Hi love
I'm ok, at work though which is always rubbish :-( Anxiety seems to have subsided though which is good, hope i've not jinxed myself now! xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Oct 6, 2009 19:12:25 GMT
Dude - you know how it rolls, anything can trigger it! But you didnt make a fool of yourself at all! You should have seen me when I went to see a VERY small band last week (struggling with bigger gigs at the mo with the anxiety), and met the band afterwards and was all like `ooooh you were amazing, really enjoyed it, blah blah'. Must have looked like a right bloody geek! But they seemed appreciative...
Hope you are ok today? You know where I am mate xx
WG x
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Oct 10, 2009 13:56:54 GMT
Hi ladies
Well last night was an absolute nightmare. Went to see my friend's band play and even got up with them and had a sing myself and felt ok, just had a niggly stomach ache which is driving me nuts as i don't know what it is.
Then last night when i finally got home at about 2ish i went to bed and felt so sick and dizzy i thought there was something seriously wrong with me, started hyperventilating, shaking like a leaf and i had to wake my mum up who came and sat with me and made me a cup of sweet tea and calmed me down.
But not i still have stomach ache and feel like crap because i'm tired from no sleep. I said i would go and sit with my friend who had a baby last week while her bloke goes to wet the baby's head but i don't feel up to it which is shit as i hate letting her down as she never lets me down. :-(
Feeling quite sorry for myself xxxx
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Post by cokey on Oct 10, 2009 16:02:01 GMT
Hey Becka
Sorry I didn't realise you felt quite so bad last night. Tonight I will make sure my phone is charged and I will put it under my pillow so even if I don't hear it (last night Paul was awake for 3 hours apprently and I never heard him even!) I will feel it vibrate (no comments please lol).
You know that stomach ache is just anxiety because of what you are worrying about, it will be fine. If it was me, what would you tell me?
Anyway, don't go tonight if you can't, your friend may be fortunate and never suffer from PNI and she will be fine but you may need the rest.
C xx
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Post by winegirl on Oct 10, 2009 19:29:26 GMT
Well you didnt tell me all this earlier! I am so sorry you felt this way.. I know it is awful.
It could well be a bug. I am sat here with awful tummy ache tonight and my mentor had it with diarreah the other day so I am just waiting for that bit.lol. There is a lot of it going around.
Take it easy on yourself and have a chilled evening. About all night if you need a chat x
Love
WG xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Oct 18, 2009 17:02:14 GMT
Hi ladies
Just checking in as my temperamental internet has decided to work... how long for we will see!
Feeling very average, anxiety is up and down but have alot going on at the moment and i can pinpoint what is making me anxious so i guess that's a good start. Not sleeping too well and am dreading going to work tomorrow.
Matt is back from America, called me a bit ago to ask how his daughter is, he got back into the country early this morning... why he didn't call sooner i don't know as he hasn't been asleep or anything. i asked when he plans on coming to see Violet as he's not seen her for three weeks and he said he doesn't know, he will see how he feels. I don't particularly care, i don't want to see him but it's horrible to think of him not being arsed with seeing Violet. I know it wouldn't ever arise but if i was in a situation where i hadn't seen her for 3 weeks, i'd be straight on the motorway, jetlag or no jetlag. He's a selfish tosser. But the more he stays away, the quieter my life is. Wanker. Sorry about that ladies, just wound up.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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