beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jan 18, 2010 12:54:28 GMT
Hi ladies
Well, started the second month of my pill on saturday so we're on day 3. Feeling ok so far. Am exhausted today, Violet had me awake half the night coughing until she was sick. She suffers alot with a bad chest and it's worrying me a little bit now. Everytime i take her to the doctor's they say its viral but after three visits back and forth they usually give in and give her antibiotics that do clear it up but she's always got a bit of a cough. So tonight i'm taking her back to the doctor's to see what they say this time. Thing is, i don't think anyone has ever had a cigarette in front of her in a confined space, i didn't smoke when i was pregnant so i can't put it down to that. I'm just worried that she is asthmatic as i am. But then saying that, the GP was asking whether she gets wheezy when she runs etc or if its cold and she doesn't so she doesn't really display asthma. Oh i dunno, thinking too much into things again probably. I know kids get poorly alot but to have a constant cough that flares up and makes her sick can't be normal??
How is everyone anyway?
xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 19, 2010 11:23:48 GMT
Isabelle has a permanent cough. Bugs always go on her chest and i end up hopping round to the docs, but even when the bug has gone she can cough really bad for weeks after. It seems like she has a permanent one.
GP and Nurse think its all quite normal but may be a bit bronchial so I keep an eye on her though.
Hows you doing this morning dude??
WG xxx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jan 19, 2010 12:25:52 GMT
Hi dude
I'm ok thanks, stuck at work though and am exhausted. Matt has been here for the past two days as he has had Violet while i've been at work, he gets paid dependents' leave and i don't so i think it's only fair really. Dont think he thought that when i called him out of work at 8 yesterday morning!
So anyway, i've had to put up with him for the past two days, and last night i could have knocked his head off his shoulders. I ended up going to bed really early as i thought there would be fireworks. He just gets me so mad, but then i'm cranky anyway cos i'm tired.
Work is so rubbish at the minute... mega boring :-( Matt wants to get back together and for me to move back down to Gloucester, his chances aren't looking very favourable. He wants me to make huge comprimises again, yet he is prepared to do nothing. He treats me like a piece of shit when he is up here so i'm not going to resign myself to a life of being surrounded by him, his friends and family and being treated like that. Bollocks to him LOL. Whinge over!
In other news, the GP said it's a viral cough that Violet has and wants to see her again tomorrow afternoon to see if it has cleared any. I think she will end up with anti-biotics again as it's getting worse if anything. Bless her.
Will try and get on and let you all know how it's going with the cough, the pill, the ex etc....
xxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 19, 2010 14:54:03 GMT
erm.. thats a definate NO on the Matt fron then is it?? LOL
Yeah, let us know how V gets on at GP's tomorrow? Hope they get her sorted out xxx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jan 25, 2010 13:04:34 GMT
Hi everyone
Well Violet was prescribed the usual amoxicillin on wednesday and her cough does seem a little better. Only thing is she has ulcers on her tongue and refuses to eat anything but jelly and ice cream. Have tried every soft food imaginable and she's having none of it. Spoke to NHS direct yesterday and the nurse told me to keep her on jelly and ice cream if that's what she'll eat. I know it won't kill her to not eat but it has been almost a week now surviving on the bare minimum and i've been weighing her and she's lost 4lb this week :-( Really worried about her. Me? Worry? Never LOL.
Matt went home last wednesday and he has been very friendly and nice ever since. Drives me mad LOL.
I feel ok in myself, tired as my mate Gareth came to stay at the weekend and we were up all night catching up and getting drunk. Was so nice to spend some quality time with him though, was really upset when i took him to the train station on saturday :-(
Still taking the pill and think i've relaxed with it now. No spotting so far this month so hopefully that was just due to my body getting used to it and feel ok in myself.
Hope everyone's ok xxxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by cokey on Jan 25, 2010 20:00:06 GMT
Hi Becka Haven't been on here for ages but just popped in to see how everyone was. Bless Violet, how uncomfortable for her. I got bad tongue thrush (lol - don't laugh) when I was pregnant with Evie and I struggled to eat. I can't imagine how a child feels Hope you are ok. Text me whenever and lets sort that AT date out. Candice xx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 26, 2010 10:29:21 GMT
Ive already tols you about Isabelle and I getting the same thing with a virus, but honestly, she will be fine.. I panicked like you wouldnt believe when Isabelle lost loads of weight through it too (was pleased when I did though...) but when the ulcers went she ate for england! Apparently children under 5 have a sort of built in calorie counter in them so they know when to stock back up again, you watch mate, when the ulcers have gone you will be off to the supermarket every day...
Much love to you both
WG xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Mar 23, 2010 15:54:51 GMT
Hi ladies
Thought i'd pop in for a catch up and because i'm struggling a little again. Got so much going on though it's not really suprising- i'll just start from the top.
First and most important, Violet ended up getting referred to the hospital due to her constant cough and her eczema etc. The consultant there decided to do blood tests for coeliac disease and other disorders, and a sweat test for cystic fibrosis. This caused me so much anxiety it was unbelievable. The tests were last week and i'm over the moon to say that they found nothing and the chances are it's viral or she's asthmatic which compared with the things they were testing for, i can live with. Plus i have asthma and eczema so the chances are, that's what it is.
During this time though i ended up having a week off work as the anxiety was just awful. I have this new senior at work who is a sandwich short of a picnic, has no life outside of work and although i quite liked her in the beginning she has turned into a complete nutter. I ended up having a panic attack in the office (a really small, insignificant one in comparison to the ones i've suffered in the past). So i went home and my GP signed me off work for two weeks. Then last weekend i had gibberish text messages and then a call off my senior saying that she wanted to shake me and that i had to get on with things, we all have difficult times and we just have to get over it. She sounded drunk to me. It really upset me as my anxiety had been triggered by the fact that my two year old daughter had had some pretty horrendous tests for some horrible illnesses and how dare she tell me she wanted to shake me?
So on the following monday i went into the office to see her manager. She had got there first and told the manager that she had sent me texts by accident thinking i was someone else. Then when she was called into the room, she denied calling me. Luckily i had my phone and proved her wrong. She then admitted she was drunk and apologised for what she had said.
But basically, because i got upset about it and because i had already been off sick, the manager told me she didn't think i was well enough to be at work (obviously she's a medical professional lol) and that if i didn't agree to stay off sick then they would medically suspend me. I was fuming that they weren't taking on board anything that i was saying and that nothing was really done about the senior phoning me drunk and being disrespectful of my illness and current worries.
i have now been referred to Occupational Health to see a doctor to see whether he thinks i should be at work or not. This isn't until 12th April so i have this hanging over me. They want me to agree to them having access to my medical records which i feel quite protective of, they are my personal business and although i see work's point i don't think i should be treated like this.
Plus, on top of all that (and this is my own fault) i told work when i had a couple of weeks off work with anxiety in december that i am on meds for my anxiety because i felt like they weren't sympathetic to my illness unless i was taking meds and doing absolutely everything in my power. But the truth is i have alot of issues with meds (as any of you who know me can vouch for, i've ummed and aahed over them for 2 years now and can never getting over the anxiety of putting one in my mouth!) So if my medical records are shared, they will know that i'm not on any medication and that i lied. Any advice on this?
Anyway, i have to go to my GP tonight and am once again considering meds (don't know why i bother, i know i won't take them even though i really wish i could just try them).
I think now my anxiety has turned into work related stress as well and i don't know the best way forward. I just feel like telling them to stick their job and not working but i know that's not an option for me. Problem i have as well though, if i apply for new jobs, what are the chances of getting one with my sickness record?
I understand where work are coming from, i had my maternity leave of 9 months, then i went to work for one day and was off sick for 6 months. Then i finally returned to work in May last year and have had 5 absenses (but only two anxiety related, one at christmas and this one). The others were for tonsilitus, sickness bug and a migraine i think. I wouldn't mind but i don't take the piss, it's just been an unlucky year sickness wise and there are alot of people who are alot worse than i am for being off sick. I feel quite victimised if i'm honest. Am i overreacting?
Oh and i'm on my fourth month of the pill now and i do think my anxiety has been worse since i've been on it so i'm considering coming back off it and living a life of celibacy! Not sure if the pill may be making me worse or just stress of work and Violet not being ill etc. but i have definitely been worse the past few months. I may come of it for a few months after this month and see what happens, i can always go back on it.
Anyway, how's you lot?
xxxxxxxxxx
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Post by winegirl on Mar 23, 2010 20:49:43 GMT
Dude - I know i have text you abit about the meds and stuff - but if you want to talk about it can always ring you?
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Post by tabbysmum on Mar 23, 2010 21:03:04 GMT
Hi Beckah, I would feel victimised in your shoes too and no way would I let them have access to my medical records, it's too personal and why do they need it if you're seeing occupational health? Is your GP sympathetic? Is there anyway that the GP could vouch for you without having to disclose your medical records? Are you a union member? I think you need someone fighting your corner and supporting you. I'm furious for you - bloody cheek of them, the company I work for wouldn't dare behave like that.. Let us know how you get on.
Love TM x
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Mar 24, 2010 8:35:06 GMT
Hi ladies, thanks for your replies.
Well i saw my GP last night and explained everything to her about them wanting my medical records etc and she just said to think carefully about it as they may think i have something to hide but that she also thinks they are being unprofessional and she is basically on my side. She has signed me off for 2 weeks but this time not with pni or GAD but with "stress at work causing anxious episode-improving now". She said at least this would document that it was the way they behaved towards the fact that i was stressed and anxious due to violet's illnesses etc that have exacerbated the problem.
GP has referred me to see the counsellor which i kind of have to do as i have to prove i am prepared to do everything. And GP has prescribed me flouoxetine. Obviously i don't think i want to take them, dont know what to do.
I've gotta pop into work today to take my note in and i just know the manager will be so pissed off with what my sick note says but the wicked side of me is kind of looking forward to it xxxxxxxxxx
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Post by Weeble on Mar 24, 2010 9:09:11 GMT
Hi Beckah
How horrible this sort of thing is, I feel really sorry for you. Remember your manager is in the wrong she is the one with a behaviour which was wrong, you have handled this in a really mature and appropriate way. Just in case you need it - make written records while you can remember of all these events and date them, then photo the messages and call time records on your mobile phone as well. Just in case.
Enjoy your manager being stressed your GP is right and it is great to have her on your side.
If you are seeing an occupational health doctor you should not worry. OH doctors are either GP s with additional training or usually consultants in occupational health they are very experienced at managing these issues and will be very impartial. If you have a long term mental health issue you are protected by the disability discrimation act and the way you have been treated would be in violation of that I think.
I have a lot of experience in this stuff from my own experiences as a manager, my own health and friends and family and openness with the OH doctor is the most important thing. Think of them as being on your side, they will do everything they can to help you because that is their professional responsibility. Think about what you need to go back to work and feel supported in advance, for instance having a new manager, or a written apology and tell him that.
Finally it is highly likely that your OH department is run by an external organisation few companies run their own now. So it is even more likely to be independent.
Good luck and thinking of you.
Kat
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Post by Weeble on Mar 24, 2010 9:12:45 GMT
Sorry if the post before was too direct, please ignore my advice if it does not work for you. Sometimes I slip into work mode when I see these things and good luck
Kat
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Mar 24, 2010 13:13:52 GMT
Hi Katrina
Thank you for your advice. I popped into work and dropped my note off but i didn't see the manager, i just left my note with one of the admin staff.
I'm just quite surprised how she is behaving. I work for the local council for the social services department, i really never would have thought i would be made to feel like this. i would think they would know better but obviously not. oh well, i'll just have to wait and see what the OH doctor says.
I'll keep you all updated xxxxxx
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Post by winegirl on Mar 24, 2010 21:21:19 GMT
Dude, did you check out ACAS website? I really think theyt are very useful with ALL things employment wise and knowing your rights etc...
Have you made your mind up about the meds yet?
Drop us a line if you need to chat mate xx
WG x
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