beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jan 8, 2009 11:56:10 GMT
Hi ladies
My problem is getting Matt on board, he just gets annoyed and makes me and Violet both feel really tense and aggravated. I have been telling him that she is a baby and his attitude doesn't help. It's almost as if he is a fantastic father, but only when she is in a good mood and when she is doing something clever and when she's not waking him up. i just don't understand him. My brother reckons that all blokes are impatient and aren't as accepting of being woken up as women but i don't think that's any excuse, we're all tired and his attitude doesn't help.
i think i will go to my mum's, just not looking forward to the moving everything out! I'm just too exhausted to do anything at the moment!
xxxxx
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Post by cheshire on Jan 8, 2009 14:03:31 GMT
Hi Beckah,
I hope you don't mind me writing in your diary? Have been following your posts...are you moving today then?
Thinking of you x
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jan 8, 2009 15:56:49 GMT
Hi Hopeful
No i don't mind, post away! I'm not moving today as i have CBT tomorrow morning and don't really want to miss it and something else keeps stopping me from going, i've felt like this for a while but haven't managed to leave. My sister-in-law said i should leave for a few days just to teach Matt a lesson and make him take notice that i'm serious, really don't want to play games though but i'm not sure anything else will work. I just don't know whether i'd be doing the right thing by leaving, that i might ruin our relationship when i should have just rode it out and saw where we ended up. So confused at the moment.
How are you?
xxxxx
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Post by cheshire on Jan 8, 2009 16:55:37 GMT
Hi Beckah, I'm ok thanks - just trying to work out how to use my new straighteners It sounds like a really difficult time for you - I must admit I felt like leaving too with PNI, but didn't ever quite manage to do it. I guess I was worried it make make me more ill and although I was loathe to admit it, I really did need the stability of staying at home and being supported by my partner. But I did take breaks and had time out - going away with or staying with friends. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest for both of you xx Look after yourself, Love and hugs Hopefulx
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Post by nicola1712 on Jan 8, 2009 17:48:29 GMT
My hubby used to get annoyed when LO woke up night after night and got more irritated when she whined than I did. He has got better as she has got older, cos he has accepted now tha's what babies do and he is often calmer than me sometimes now when she starts throwing tantrums! He annoys me now when he plays with her when he fancies it, and leaves her to it when he has something to watch or look up on internet - my life goes on hold all day for her but he just carries on without even thinking - and then wonders why she always comes to me first!! xxx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 8, 2009 21:16:40 GMT
Hi Beckah
I think what you are doing is testing a different way of life for you both - and there is nothing wrong with that! I think what you are doing is very brave and I hope it works for you. We will be here for you if you need us!!
Much love x
WG xx
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Post by cokey on Jan 9, 2009 14:10:24 GMT
Hi Beckah I think ultimately your head is fighting your heart. Whatever is the right thing for you will be where you end up, be it with Matt or at your mums for a while. Just go with the flow and you'll make the right decision. I know exactly where you are coming from and its a battle in itself but keep fighting and one day happiness will be your prize C xx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 10, 2009 9:04:25 GMT
How you doing Beckah?? Thinking of you x
WG xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jan 10, 2009 10:05:54 GMT
Hey ladies
Well last night we took Violet up to the midlands to my mum and luckily she fell asleep in the car because matt and i argued all the way there, just don't know what to do. I've woken up this morning and i'm majorly anxious, Matt's still in bed and i'm trying to calm myself down. I just want my little girl but i have to get used to being away from her if i'm going back to work. The past week apart from the relationship stuff, PNI wise i've felt much better but this morning i'm really shit.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by nicola1712 on Jan 10, 2009 11:43:57 GMT
It is so hard to go back to work and leave LOs, especially when you are feeling anxious with PNI as well. My meds really helped me and the CBT will help too.
It will make you see that LO is happy and safe with other people and nothing is going to happen to her when she is out of your control. That is my biggest thing - that she is out of my control so I never know what is happening. It gets easier with time but, as with this illness, some days are good and some are crap. Take each day at a time.
xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jan 10, 2009 14:17:05 GMT
God i feel so shit. Matt's gone to pick his brother up from the airport and Violet's at my mom's and i just feel so down and depressed. Keep having suicide OCD, i know i won't do it, it's just horrible.
I have been fine all week, i know it's all to do with everything that's going on with Matt, we argued again earlier and then his sister in law turned up with the kids so that stopped that argument which i was pleased about. I really am not in the mood to go to his mom's 60th party tonight, i just want to get into bed and stay there until tomorrow, hoping tomorrow will be better.
Wish i knew how to make myself better. Then i would know how i really feel about everything, at the moment i'm so confused, is it PNI, is it relationship trouble that's causing this feeling i've got? Just feel useless and want my baby, she always makes me smile, god i miss her.
xxxxxxxxxx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 10, 2009 15:19:34 GMT
Hi Beckah
I missed my LO sooooo much when I first went back to work. But after about 2 weeks I got used to it and our relationship got so much better because of it! Now the time we have together is so much more fun because we havent seen each other so much. Its a tough start but I promise it gets better.
Sorry things are still rough with you and Matt, and yes, I would say that this is what is causing your problems at the moment. Tell him how you are feeling with the anxiety and that you think it is because of what is happening between you two.
I hope you make it tonight and manage to have a good time, sometimes you can feel better for going to these things x
Thinking of you
WG xx
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beckah
Senior Member
Posts: 350
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Post by beckah on Jan 11, 2009 20:10:09 GMT
Hey everyone
Well i finally got my baby back and you would think she had been at my mom's 2 years, not 2 days! Was just so lush to cuddle her!
We went to the party last night, it was crap and the mother in law ignored me all evening but i didn't really want to speak to her anyway!
We've just got back from the midlands and Matt's gone out to a gig but i didn't want to go, was far too tired and i didn't want to leave Violet for a third night so it's just me and babes tonight!
xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 11, 2009 20:20:34 GMT
Awwww hope you guys have a nice evening together. I love being home alone in the evening. Play with LO, get her bathed and in bed, have a glass of wine with guitar hero and then off to bed with a book... bliss.
Have a lovely time mate and here's to a good week ahead!!
WG x
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Post by cokey on Jan 11, 2009 21:29:32 GMT
Hi Beckah
I totally empathise with the suicide OCD, you know I'm the expert lol Its naff though isn't it.
How you feeling today?
C xx
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