Post by Kitty on Nov 10, 2010 11:50:07 GMT
i know where my local open minds is, but i just cant face going.
part of me feels like i can stop the drinking and the painkillers easy, but i dont *want* to, not just yet because of all the problems and flashbacks and so on.
im not sleeping, my appetite STILL hasnt come back after having rudy, it gets to two mouthfuls before im full to the point of wanting to be sick. im 'crashing' by three in the afternoon, finding it hard to keep my head up and eyes open, this lasts until about nine in the evening before i wake up again.
physically, while i was pregnant, my pelvic displacement was really hard and painful to deal with, it feels like its starting up again, only its every bleedin joint in my body, clicks all the time, or locks, and when it does, it hurts. my knees used to click when i bend down, and wouldnt ever hurt, but now they kill, knees, back, toes, ankles, pelvic bone, neck shoulder the lot, all really hurt at the joint.
i cant face leaving the house again, i think its a part of the lead up to the 'fall' along with the propelled anxiety and so on.
but alot of the time i dont want to go out but do it for mollie because she needs to go to school. but her school is failing her anyway.
i got suggested to take her to a nursery, and all they did was play and nothing else, so i took her to the school across the road, and told them how bright she was and they agreed that she will have special care.
at the parent teacher meeting i was told shes the brightest out of all the kids in the first three years of the school.
that for certain play she'd go to the higher years this that and the other..
but the.....crap that shes brought home with her! cbeebies print outs scribbled on, paintings etc- mollie doesnt even watch cbeebies!
the things theyve sent home have been things shes done at home over a year ago. theyre making her thick.
i took in an exercise book of what her level actually is, and things shes done at home, and took back in things shes brought home and complained. but nothings been done.
ripped uniforms, come home without parts of her uniforms, nits, the lot you name it.
im distraught. shes bright and needs constant attention. im no pushy mum, i just know how bright she is and that slightly pushing her- makes her feel proud when she achieves her goals.
i know im ranting but i need to get a lot of things out, the mood ive been in the past few months, ive been so afraid of logging on the pc too.
people have stopped replying to my texts and messages because they either dont know what to say or are bored of repetitive behaviour.
i cant cope at home without help, not even on a better day, and im scared the girls are going to be taken from me.
part of me feels like i can stop the drinking and the painkillers easy, but i dont *want* to, not just yet because of all the problems and flashbacks and so on.
im not sleeping, my appetite STILL hasnt come back after having rudy, it gets to two mouthfuls before im full to the point of wanting to be sick. im 'crashing' by three in the afternoon, finding it hard to keep my head up and eyes open, this lasts until about nine in the evening before i wake up again.
physically, while i was pregnant, my pelvic displacement was really hard and painful to deal with, it feels like its starting up again, only its every bleedin joint in my body, clicks all the time, or locks, and when it does, it hurts. my knees used to click when i bend down, and wouldnt ever hurt, but now they kill, knees, back, toes, ankles, pelvic bone, neck shoulder the lot, all really hurt at the joint.
i cant face leaving the house again, i think its a part of the lead up to the 'fall' along with the propelled anxiety and so on.
but alot of the time i dont want to go out but do it for mollie because she needs to go to school. but her school is failing her anyway.
i got suggested to take her to a nursery, and all they did was play and nothing else, so i took her to the school across the road, and told them how bright she was and they agreed that she will have special care.
at the parent teacher meeting i was told shes the brightest out of all the kids in the first three years of the school.
that for certain play she'd go to the higher years this that and the other..
but the.....crap that shes brought home with her! cbeebies print outs scribbled on, paintings etc- mollie doesnt even watch cbeebies!
the things theyve sent home have been things shes done at home over a year ago. theyre making her thick.
i took in an exercise book of what her level actually is, and things shes done at home, and took back in things shes brought home and complained. but nothings been done.
ripped uniforms, come home without parts of her uniforms, nits, the lot you name it.
im distraught. shes bright and needs constant attention. im no pushy mum, i just know how bright she is and that slightly pushing her- makes her feel proud when she achieves her goals.
i know im ranting but i need to get a lot of things out, the mood ive been in the past few months, ive been so afraid of logging on the pc too.
people have stopped replying to my texts and messages because they either dont know what to say or are bored of repetitive behaviour.
i cant cope at home without help, not even on a better day, and im scared the girls are going to be taken from me.