butterfly
Private Board (R) Member
Posts: 1,432
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Post by butterfly on Jan 27, 2011 20:14:44 GMT
Hi there, Don't usually post in your diary hope you don't mind me dropping in. Two things I know all about having post natal depression, kids and nursing! I just wanted to say being a nurse is a lovely but strange career, your always be late home and understaffed, its stressful, its physcial, it can be tough and you can be treated like poo by various different people. BUT I can not tell you how it feels to know that you have made a difference to someones physcial or emotional health it gives me a buzz. Its such a rewarding career, you see life death and every drama that happens in the middle. Its technical, emotional, its scientific, its political, its sooooo many things. Even know -if I am honest can't help but look in the reflection of my uniform in the corridor windows, hold my head up high and feel a little bit prooud of myself! Oh another thing, you do have to. Have a stomach of steal and not faint at the sight of blood. Oh and I have had 2 kids working as a nnurse maternity leave is pretty good. Take care X
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Post by Weeble on Jan 27, 2011 20:22:04 GMT
Hi bf makes such sense. Have you thought that you can do both. Many girls get pregnant during training, you would not be the first, if you get pni again that you need some time out, again you would not be the first one. Your experience with this illness will make you a much better person, you will have an amazing skill set for your patients.
Congratulations on your offer, be proud, very proud of yourself.
Kat
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Feb 2, 2011 13:26:45 GMT
hi girls i have decided ( i think ) i am putting of having another child and its not that i dont want one its just i am not strong enough yet , then that makes me question am i strong enought to go to uni yet ? but i am aiming to go to uni in september dont want to push myself to much but i feel like i need a goal set out something to ork towards , them may be in a couple of years see how things are then as to having another child
well this week mas been a real mix bad lol it started well was in good spirts no worries and was ok but i no this may sound strange i just felt myself slipping down slowly the last couple of day i have been feeling on edge a lot although it has seemed to have settled now , a little boy in my daughters class is in hospital with menigitus and is in a bad way and it has been playing on my mind all week think thats what may have knocked my off again , think i need to look at coping stratgies for handling thinks like that but how where do i start . its not that i am worried for him yet its sad but he isnt related but know who he is ( that sounds really cruel but cant put it any other way ) and its not like i am worrying incase my child gets it just cant put my finger on why it had bothered me so much . but ok now so thats something on the whole i can see nopw that the good days are out weighing the bad so i cant really complain at a couple of bad one now and again and i surpose i can live with that if i can just convince my self at the time of the blips that it is just a blip ad i havnt relapsed , just scares me to death the think how bad i actually was at my worse and dont think i could start from there again
feel really tired today its like the blip has taken everything out of me and i feel drained
oh well hope your all ok
jemma x
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Post by juppster on Feb 2, 2011 14:14:15 GMT
Hey Jemma, its no wonder you feel wiped out, when you feel on edge all the time its suprising how draining that is...i know it is for me. I think its great that you have a plan about the uni thing, something to aim for is always great. Hope you managed to have a bit of a rest this afternoon mate x
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Feb 4, 2011 17:04:49 GMT
hi all had a couple of up and down days now but getting used to just dealing with them now and getting on with things . had a good sleep last night witch was something got the kids in bed at 7 and lo wanted me to lie with her so i did and we all work up at 7.30 this morning feel loads better for it was a little on edge at dinner time but rescue remady saved me again dont no what i would do with out that , kids staying out tonight at my mums so going to have a nice chilled night on the coach with lap top and quilt ahhh bliss . hope your all well x
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Post by winegirl on Feb 4, 2011 17:30:48 GMT
Hi Jemma
To this day, if i dont get enough sleep, it affects my anxiety. Bit of an issue when you have kids though i know!
Rescure remedy was good for me too. Do you have the drops or the pastilles?
Enjoy your chilled night x
WG x
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Feb 4, 2011 17:40:34 GMT
both wine girl have also had the chewing gums and have heard that they now have a massaging oil out to but not sseen it my self x
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Post by winegirl on Feb 4, 2011 17:42:27 GMT
The pastilles were my favourite, never knew they did chewing gums! There are other bach flower remedies you can look at too if you google it for different things, i had one specifiaccly for anxiety but you can get them for all sorts!
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Post by Weeble on Feb 10, 2011 20:20:32 GMT
How are things going jemma, have not chatted for yonks. Would love to hear how you are doing.
Kat
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Feb 11, 2011 16:53:28 GMT
hi all had a ok week i surpose looking back on it , had the odd moments where i got a bit manic and felt on edge but it does seem to be getting better to deal with i mean i can handle it better now , tell you whats been scaring me though on these odd moments of manics and im only talking about second where i get this over welming feeling of panic for a spilt second it sort of reminds me of how i used to feel and it was horrid and then there is the odd times where i do something or think of something like when i was cuddling lo the other day and i got that over welming feeling of love for her it reminded me that i never felt that a while ok and it sort of scared me and the fact that i dont remember a lot of my children being baby due to pni my hubby said the other day when we was watching just a comment"remember when izzy was in her walker she was wild " but i really cant even visualise her in her walker ?? is this because of pni but on the whole my mmod has been better this week and im just getting on with it but do feel far from recovered . got friends round this evening but ive been in that mood lately were you sort of review stuff and as reguards to our friendship with these friends do i still feel it . i dont feel i can be honist with them about my pni and have to were the mummy face with them and it shouldnt have to be like that is it me just in one ? lol oh well just smile and get on with it we are all good at that here arnt we hope you all well x
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Post by nicola1712 on Feb 11, 2011 21:18:41 GMT
Hi Jemma
I have just read through your diary on here and caught up with how you are doing.....
Hope you have a good evening with your friends tonight and yes, we do all put that brave face on - I have a couple of mummy friends who know I have PNI but they, to be honest don't really understand and just think I should 'lighten up and get over it.' That's why this site has been my godsend cos you can always find people who actually know what it is like!
My husband is the same as yours too - he just thinks I will get over it in a week or so and doesn't get it - if I am having a blip he says I must be hormonal and due on (yeah not always dear...).
Your past week sounds pretty much like mine, but you are getting a handle on it now it seems - odd moments of panic seem like part of this illness - I have odd moments of insecurities and panic too - even if I am walking to school or am busy at work, suddenly everything can fall apart and I have to stop it mentally.
The forgetting parts of their babyhood I think is normal, I completely forgot parts of my DD's behaviour until my DS was doing it and then I would think oh I remember H doing that! Even my mum would then say oh I remember you doing that too! Now when my DS does things I think oh I hope I never forget him doing that, but I guess we will - they grow up and do different things instead.
Keep talking on here - it always helps.
xxx
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Post by juppster on Feb 12, 2011 19:08:31 GMT
Hey Jemma How was your night with friends last night? I can relate to not remembering alot about the baby stage, whether this was to do with being ill or not i don't know, but as Nicola says, i think its probably quite normal. It sounds as though you are managing fairly well at the moment..do you think the meds are helping you now? Hoping the rest of your weekend is a good one xx
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Feb 13, 2011 21:03:52 GMT
hi all
well friday wasnt to bad with the friends think i was just in one on friday witch didnt help lol
i do feel like i am finnally managing now ever though i am far from recovered think i have just accepted yes i have pni deal with it . the meds must be working i think i do feel much calmer not as manic now and sleeping much better but the loss of sex drive is drriving him had i just dont want it , it isnt him it just like its so not important for me and is a effort to pretend it is lol poor oh hes been so good aswell
hope your all well x
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Post by juppster on Feb 14, 2011 7:58:30 GMT
The loss of sex drive on some meds is so common...including in this household!! I guess you have to weigh up the pros and cons and if you are feeling more relaxed and settled on the meds now the sex has to wait for a while i suppose!! Hope this week is a good one for you xx
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Post by nicola1712 on Feb 14, 2011 10:33:29 GMT
Oh yes loss of sex drive is very common - and in this household too - drive DH bonkers bless him! Makes me feel bad for not wanting it but he does understand - without being too explicit, it has made us be a bit more adventurous and try different things (nothing too kinky though I might add!) which has made our relationship a bit better in a way and makes up for all the times I say no!
Oh and thanks for writing in my diary as well hun - brief update on me, well I am coping ok on the meds but still do have up and down days like us all I suppose. DD driving me bonkers with her tantrums, DS all ok, although only just walking (quite late) but hey he is getting there so can't complain!
Glad the meds seem to be kicking in for you too, just take each day at a time.
xxx
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