jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Dec 10, 2010 15:09:14 GMT
ok here i go !
25 years old two girls ellie 5 and izzy 3 had pni after both was on citalopram 40mg after ellie right through till izzy was 6 months old them switched to prozac .
9 months ago i came off Prozac with the guidance of my GP and every thing was great.
till now !
started feeling on edge all the time about six weeks ago , this go worse and worse to the point where my whole week felt like a panic attack like with pni lastime , we to the doc and he put me on propananol 10mg x2 daily , worked great till last week , when i was convinced that i was ill with any serious illness that i heard about . then i knew i had to watch things as this was how i felt with pni last time . back to the docs on monday and he gave me prozac again , day 5 of taking them today and its a very bad day , started with panic attacks all night last night , and to day i have been worrying about feeling emotionless as i did last time on them just felt numb , that got me assessing my feelings in my head an questioning how i feel towards my children and feeling very numb again on the subject . hope it gets better as the meds kick in .
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Dec 10, 2010 15:12:08 GMT
not sure if my husband really understands he trys to help and support me he will clean the house and look adter the girls whith really helps but dont think he understansd how hard the illness is think he thinks its like a cold and i will get over it next week
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Post by Victoria on Dec 10, 2010 15:42:09 GMT
Hi well done for starting up a diary, it really does help loads to be able to offload with ppl who really understand what you are going through. My youngest is 2 and I am still struggling. I am on citalopram 40mg once a day and propranalol 40mg twice a day for the panic and anxiety. It is hard I guess for husbands, who havnt been through depression or similar, to fully understand how we can be so down and cant just snap out of it. Good he is being practically supportive though, some ppl dont even have that. I am lucky my hubby is the same, helps with the housework and the kids whenever I need him to which is a lot of the time. Take care and welcome to the forum. xxx
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butterfly
Private Board (R) Member
Posts: 1,432
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Post by butterfly on Dec 11, 2010 4:24:28 GMT
Hi jemma Hope u don't mind me commenting. My husband is the same totally doesn't get pni although helps pratically. I find it very helpful coming on here and getting thing of my chest. Hope it helps you too. Have you ever had counselling? Is it something you think u need to get better? Take care hope you feel better soon. Bf x
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Dec 11, 2010 13:29:00 GMT
no i dont mind at all any one commenting
feeling a little better today not as manic as yesterday hopefully the meds are starting to work jemma
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Dec 11, 2010 17:18:00 GMT
may be i sopke to soon got to tea time today with nothing and now i am starting to panic again there sems to ba a bit of a pattern with them apart from yesterday whe i was bad all day ,it normal starts around this time every night and when the kids are in bed it comes full on , dont no if im doing it to my self by thinking oh its nearly time when it starts again , may be it when i start to get tired or when i begin to relax may be need to think of relaxation techs
butterfly i did try counciling a couple of years ago when i was bad but didnt feel was any help , they was trying to get to the root cause of he depression but that i already knew i was the birth of my 1st doughter with was by emergencey section as i had pre eclampsia and they couldnt find her heart beat and it just scared me to death doc at the time thought i was post trumatic stress and that turn in to pni just found it pointless but may be something to think about
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Dec 15, 2010 9:03:16 GMT
well last couple of days have been a rollercoster ,
not really any panic attacks they seem to have settled down , but i have other symptoms now i didnt have befor i started the meds like the what if questions and the feeling that i am bad and mad hoping that it is the med unsettling me asked on the forum befor about it and thats what people are saying so fingers crossed .
LO at her nannas all day and BO in school it is very quiet . ....
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Post by Weeble on Dec 17, 2010 17:14:10 GMT
Hi jemma
Sorry I have missed your posts. Really pleased the panic attacks are better.
How has today been? Have you had a rest before the weekend? Please feel free to come and chat on my diary too.
Kat
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Dec 18, 2010 9:26:04 GMT
hi all
mood . better more posative panic, not since wednesday thoughts . not since thursday
feeling much better went to see the doc on thursday and he just reasured me that everything was normal and that i will get over it all the things i was feeling were indeed the meds just getting in my system ,, and just to hear that of somebody that knows made me feel a whole lot better , i am in a much better place than i was a week ago he recomended that i take my meds at bed time as i was always waiting for them to make me feel worse all day when i took them in the morning, has worked a bit but i did disturb my sleep a luittle last night but i would rather have disturbed sleep that all the other stuff . feeling much more chilled during the day in fact yeasterday i went shopping (yes out of the house not online ) didnt want anything just had a walk round the shops and i didnt take the pram let her walk witch i would never do ever ever ha ha defo more chilled out . so fingers crossed for a good weekend , the snow here i really bad aswell so will have some fund later hubby trying to make a sledge looks more like a wheel barrow at the min lol
jemma
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Post by Weeble on Dec 18, 2010 22:57:47 GMT
Yahoo that's great news well done Jemma. Hope you sleep tight tonight, the nights do get easier
Kat
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Dec 20, 2010 16:25:55 GMT
weekend was ok but as i posted in my other posts was still on edge all weekend , waiting for something to happen to show me im not getting better at all and i am just kiding my self into thinking im making progress , asking my self am i going mad and not realising it .waiting for the big deciding event to happen you no when you get that feeling in your stomach ? thats what is been like all weekend and today not actual full blown panic attacks but felling in the stomach . today have been busy all day with the OAP community christmas dinner and felt like i was putting a brave face on my feelings but could put my finger on why or what feeling it was . so scared really that i am not getting better and that next week i will just break down again .but i am making some prgress , is this normal to feel like this ? sleep .. could sleep for a week if was let mood .. ok not happy but not sad just plodding on panic attacks ... not full blown but feeling on edge thoughts,,, not since last thursday ( but feel like i am waiting for them to come back ) dont really want to be on my own with the kids even though they are so good ... why ?? dont no see here i go again questioning my self about everything makes me think more about it jemma
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Post by Weeble on Dec 20, 2010 22:34:19 GMT
Yes it is normal to feel this way, recovery is never a straight line. The consistent advice from hcps seems to be keep going and desensitise yourself to the feelings, I know it's really hard because I chicken out all the time. How was the oap party, did ŷou take ŷour kids they love the Los
Kat
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butterfly
Private Board (R) Member
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Post by butterfly on Dec 21, 2010 9:41:04 GMT
hi jemma - love your little summeries on your diary and i sooooooo am the same with sleep - i long to fall asleep and wake up natually rather than a kid screaming, the alarm clock or a 3 year old pulling off my duvet! Are you snowed in? The dull weather I dont think helps anyones mood. I can remember at the start of my illness having the on edge feeling and waiting for something to happen, occassionally i get it now but not as much. Take care bf x
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jemma
Senior Member
Posts: 160
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Post by jemma on Dec 21, 2010 11:50:51 GMT
hi all
weeble the oap dinner was great they loved it , took 75 of them to the pub , didnt take lo his mum had her for me thought i would have enough to do lol . but yeah it was great and they are alway so greatful for it . and bf we have a lot of snow here but its ok not keeping us in as yet schools still open and everything but there is more to come so i believe
hope you all well
jemma x
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Post by Weeble on Dec 21, 2010 20:07:51 GMT
Hi Jemma
Same at the church where the older ladies are so lovely and friendly, such a different to some others. Lucky you living in Manchester, used to live in sale, love Manchester.
Kat
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