Post by kmum on Apr 3, 2014 13:46:58 GMT
Hi
Decided to keep a diary to share experience as I know how much others experiences have helped me.
My son is 9.5 months. Healthy and gorgeous. I had a great fast birth but traumatic time after with complications. I lost 2 pints of blood after birth, many stitches and issues with placenta release. They gave me drug to try to expel remainder which was like labour all over again and thought had got it all out. 3 days later after further blood loss and severe pain it was discovered that I had retained placenta! I was given expelling drug once again which was horrendous and I was very frightened! The following day a scan showed a sizeable piece was still there. They rushed me to surgery that day for a special D&C after explaining risks for this procedure as its not usually performed so soon after birth because the womb is misshapen and soft! They said there could be complications which could mean loosing womb!
I had not slept for 4 nights except for small handful of hours in middle of night! Mainly because baby needed fed every 2 hours and because of pain in uterus when trying to feed him myself the midwives visited me each time to try to help! I felt enormous pressure to breast feed and already felt too unwell to look after him never mind the energy to continually try to breast feed!
Turns out baby had infection also so they had him on antibiotic drip for further 4 days and took him away twice a day to change drip. 6am and 6pm. And they also observed him every 2 hours! In between that they were checking my bloodless, changing my own drip and all the other usual interruptions such as meals, laundry and medication rounds. My parents visited twice a day for support and to give hubby a break. Everyone wanted to see baby too which was such a pressure and I felt guilty not letting others come to visit. My bro in law, wife and kids arrived as I was wheeled out of surgery! I couldn't believe it!!
Both baby and me were given all clear on day 8 at 5pm! We left hospital and were inundated with in law family requests to visit which was overwhelming! I lost it so many times as husband made me feel pressure too instead of having guts to tell them all to leave us alone for while. He finds it hard to face up to his family and there are so many of them!!
I struggled for weeks with pain and finally they told me I had womb infection. More antibiotics and took 8 weeks before started to feel better! I felt low every day, cried all the time and was so upset I felt hadn't got to enjoy my new baby or time off work as new mummy! Woke every night about 4am with mind racing and couldn't get back to sleep!
I thought it was all new mums felt! I felt had to 'suck it up' and just get on with it. Baby started to sleep through night at 3 months which was godsend. Started feeling got more energy. Went back to work full time (pressure from biz partner) at 4 months. Business was expanding and I was needed!!! Between Ovtober and December my mood got worse. I had withdrawn from everyone and everything and found it hard to cope in work. I was on call all through Christmas holidays and finally when both myself, husband and son got the flu it was what broke the camels back!! I became a hypochondriac as couldn't understand how such harsh physical symptoms could be simply stemming from PND!!! And anxiety. Possibly post traumatic stress.
I have lost a stone in weight as have had no appetite! I had no pride in appearance and when at worst, didn't shower or change for 2 or 3 days!!!!
I started Citilopram antidepressants in Feb but 4 days in had worst anxiety attack. They took me straight off them and a on visiting GP a week later tearful and at wits end they put me on Fluoxetine. 9 days in...same panic attacks! They took me off them. According to my now therapist he thinks that given both drugs are SSRIs that they should not have put me on Fluoxetine after the effects had felt with Citilopram. That an SSNR was more appropriate as works differently for anxiety and the doc should have known this!! Finally they put me on Vensir (Effexor) which after nasty side effects and constant nervousness 3 weeks later I'm starting to feel more like myself. Brighter days and can think clearer. Can be on own and less exhausted! Tiredness still hits me by tea time but nothing like before! My appetite has retuned and started sleeping a little better.
So I'm on the mend!!! I guess!! Still seeing CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapist) which has been fantastic. Professional non emotional opinion and time to talk talk talk it all out!!!
I'm still off work but intended to go back next feel for few days. Worried how business is coping and my absence puts pressure on staff!!! Feel iv let them all down and my biz partner has had to suffer with time away from her own family to run the place while I'm sick (never mind the guilt I already felt when was on maternity)!!! My relationship with biz partner is a little sour and iv become obsessed with worrying about what she thinks of me!
So, this is my experience!! I will note what I do each few days and how I feel. Hope it can help someone and that if anyone is going through the same....would live to hear from you :-)
So we can feel abnormal together!!!!
K
Decided to keep a diary to share experience as I know how much others experiences have helped me.
My son is 9.5 months. Healthy and gorgeous. I had a great fast birth but traumatic time after with complications. I lost 2 pints of blood after birth, many stitches and issues with placenta release. They gave me drug to try to expel remainder which was like labour all over again and thought had got it all out. 3 days later after further blood loss and severe pain it was discovered that I had retained placenta! I was given expelling drug once again which was horrendous and I was very frightened! The following day a scan showed a sizeable piece was still there. They rushed me to surgery that day for a special D&C after explaining risks for this procedure as its not usually performed so soon after birth because the womb is misshapen and soft! They said there could be complications which could mean loosing womb!
I had not slept for 4 nights except for small handful of hours in middle of night! Mainly because baby needed fed every 2 hours and because of pain in uterus when trying to feed him myself the midwives visited me each time to try to help! I felt enormous pressure to breast feed and already felt too unwell to look after him never mind the energy to continually try to breast feed!
Turns out baby had infection also so they had him on antibiotic drip for further 4 days and took him away twice a day to change drip. 6am and 6pm. And they also observed him every 2 hours! In between that they were checking my bloodless, changing my own drip and all the other usual interruptions such as meals, laundry and medication rounds. My parents visited twice a day for support and to give hubby a break. Everyone wanted to see baby too which was such a pressure and I felt guilty not letting others come to visit. My bro in law, wife and kids arrived as I was wheeled out of surgery! I couldn't believe it!!
Both baby and me were given all clear on day 8 at 5pm! We left hospital and were inundated with in law family requests to visit which was overwhelming! I lost it so many times as husband made me feel pressure too instead of having guts to tell them all to leave us alone for while. He finds it hard to face up to his family and there are so many of them!!
I struggled for weeks with pain and finally they told me I had womb infection. More antibiotics and took 8 weeks before started to feel better! I felt low every day, cried all the time and was so upset I felt hadn't got to enjoy my new baby or time off work as new mummy! Woke every night about 4am with mind racing and couldn't get back to sleep!
I thought it was all new mums felt! I felt had to 'suck it up' and just get on with it. Baby started to sleep through night at 3 months which was godsend. Started feeling got more energy. Went back to work full time (pressure from biz partner) at 4 months. Business was expanding and I was needed!!! Between Ovtober and December my mood got worse. I had withdrawn from everyone and everything and found it hard to cope in work. I was on call all through Christmas holidays and finally when both myself, husband and son got the flu it was what broke the camels back!! I became a hypochondriac as couldn't understand how such harsh physical symptoms could be simply stemming from PND!!! And anxiety. Possibly post traumatic stress.
I have lost a stone in weight as have had no appetite! I had no pride in appearance and when at worst, didn't shower or change for 2 or 3 days!!!!
I started Citilopram antidepressants in Feb but 4 days in had worst anxiety attack. They took me straight off them and a on visiting GP a week later tearful and at wits end they put me on Fluoxetine. 9 days in...same panic attacks! They took me off them. According to my now therapist he thinks that given both drugs are SSRIs that they should not have put me on Fluoxetine after the effects had felt with Citilopram. That an SSNR was more appropriate as works differently for anxiety and the doc should have known this!! Finally they put me on Vensir (Effexor) which after nasty side effects and constant nervousness 3 weeks later I'm starting to feel more like myself. Brighter days and can think clearer. Can be on own and less exhausted! Tiredness still hits me by tea time but nothing like before! My appetite has retuned and started sleeping a little better.
So I'm on the mend!!! I guess!! Still seeing CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapist) which has been fantastic. Professional non emotional opinion and time to talk talk talk it all out!!!
I'm still off work but intended to go back next feel for few days. Worried how business is coping and my absence puts pressure on staff!!! Feel iv let them all down and my biz partner has had to suffer with time away from her own family to run the place while I'm sick (never mind the guilt I already felt when was on maternity)!!! My relationship with biz partner is a little sour and iv become obsessed with worrying about what she thinks of me!
So, this is my experience!! I will note what I do each few days and how I feel. Hope it can help someone and that if anyone is going through the same....would live to hear from you :-)
So we can feel abnormal together!!!!
K
