hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
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Post by hannah457 on Jun 25, 2006 14:43:45 GMT
thank you for the kind message Marion. i do sometimes wonder how if effects the other half and today all martins distress with pni has come to surface.
peter has got the pest mood on him today, he wont leave anything alone( hes crawling) and keeps getting stuck in the most silliest places. mind you it does make me laugh when he looks up at me with his cheeky grin
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
|
Post by hannah457 on Jun 30, 2006 16:00:44 GMT
having a good day today. been out shopping for the BBQ were having tomorrow if the weather stays nice. in total football fever in our house, got england banners for the garden and lots of food for the Barbie. really looking forward to it.
peters trying to stand up know so soon we will have a little toddler runnig around our feet ;D
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
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Post by hannah457 on Jul 9, 2006 15:37:40 GMT
having a really bad day. feeling so exhausted and stressed out. not sleeping to good and i feel physically drained.
kids are being good and peter has learnt a new work this week. he keeps shouting his big brother Brandon, its really sweet
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
|
Post by hannah457 on Jul 11, 2006 8:22:34 GMT
completely stressed. got the work men coming this week to do my kitchen. got to clear it all out and also try and feed three kids around the dust and mess.
there not even here yet and i can already feel the tension. my cpn is on holiday for two weeks so dont know how im going to cope without her to fall back on if i having a bad day like ive got at the moment.
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Post by marion on Aug 1, 2006 11:51:36 GMT
Hi Hannah How you doing right now? Thanks for you kind message in my diary - had a rough time but definately coming through it now. Hope things are going ok - let us know how you're doing. How's the support group going? Love Marion.
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Post by cheshire on Aug 9, 2006 21:13:21 GMT
Hi Hannah
Been thinking of you and wondering how things are? How's the kitchen work going?
Love, Hopefulx
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
|
Post by hannah457 on Aug 28, 2006 12:00:59 GMT
hi all i haven't been on here for ages cos life has been so hectic here. kitchens looks brill I'm so pleased with it.
I'm still having my counseling and my meds have been put up to 100Mg's in the morning and 100Mg's at night. Ive been in a really bad places for a while and haven't had the strength to fight the darkest that been creeping up on me again. I'm seem to be cutting my arms more and lying to my partner how it happened. i feel so guilty for feeling so low again, i feel as if I'm letting martin and the kids down for how I'm feeling. I'm tearful most of the day, i feel as I'm I'm living in a big bubble and no one can reach me. i have a good support network of loving people around me but i feel ashamed to tell them that I'm not coping at all.
life feels to hard to deal with at the moment, i sometimes sit and think about how it would be for my family if i just died or ran away. i admitted to my best friend that Ive been hurting myself again then i wished i never told her as i felt guilty cos i promised not to cut myself but i cant stop the pain and darkness that keeps coming to me. i cut my arms to feel a release but it only last for a minute then the guilt come cos i know that cos Ive done it i will disappoint the people i love. my eldest child Brandon has noticed I'm not myself as I'm realty snappy with my children. I'm feel as if this illness is ruining my family. how can make the darkness go away? i haven't got the energy to fight anymore
Hannah
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Post by sarajay28 on Aug 28, 2006 17:39:10 GMT
Awww Hannah,
You will get through this, you've found the strength to fight it before and you will do again. You have done so much good for so many women (1. being supportive on here and 2. running a support group in your area) you are fantastic. I'm sure your son does notice that mum's not herself but try not to worry about this too much, i often used to think my son would be damaged by my behaviour during my 1st occurance of PNI but he doesn't even remember and he was nearly 5 then. Kids cope better than we'll ever know. Hannah you are a fantastic mum, wife-to-be and i'm sure your support network can tell you aren't yourself at the moment. Theres no shame in asking for help, please try to gather every last ounce of strength you have just to tell one person you trust how you feel. Yes you feel guilty about the SH and that your not coping but this is ok, you are ill and its something that you can't control right now.
We are all here for you.
Loadsa Love
Sarah.xxx
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
|
Post by hannah457 on Sept 13, 2006 10:19:52 GMT
hi everyone, not been around much lately, not really been coping that well. had my meds upped again and im still having councilling. things have been really hard here but im starting to feel like i can start to fight back again. but hey im taking on day as it comes
hannah xx
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