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Post by chelle2467 on Jan 18, 2008 11:17:26 GMT
well today im still really tired. Im still annoyed at mydoctor, the fact she wont give me a higher dose of tablets. i have only jsut confided in the person closest to me, how the hell am i going to open up to acomplete stranger, esp when my family has already had bad dealings with that particular organisation.
My illness seems to be better today - i can actualyl breathe now! I am eating curry and rice with peas and broccoli for breakfast. I know its not normal, but there want much else in the kitcehn as we need to go shopping later. I really want to go to bed again, but i cant as i need to go and feed my mates guinea pigs again. She is away as there has been a death in the family. Jamie was meant to go back to playgroup today as he feels better than he has done the last week and a half. BUT we never woke up till 9am as i was up at 1am feeding sophie and trev came to bed with me and crashed out!!
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Post by winegirl on Jan 18, 2008 19:47:16 GMT
Hi Chelle,
Glad you are feeling a bit better in yourself today! Not sure about the breakfast being normal, but pretty gross for sure! LOL.
Hope tomorrow is a good one for you too hun and you have a nice weekend x
WG x
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Post by Veritee on Jan 19, 2008 15:08:23 GMT
How are you today? I too have had left over curry and rice for breakfast in the past, and may do again in the future, although it has to be home made as I seem to be intolerant now to something in take away currys - I think the Gee as I am milk product intolerant.
I read your story and am sorry you have gone through so much. I hope it will help to share it on here. There can be a lot of misunderstanding and prejudice about young parents. I was not one, I am at the other end of the spectrum - and older first time mum and their can be prejudice about this too
although I did first get pregnant at 17 but this is another story, but later I worked for many years with young parents as a youth worker. I have a story which includes homelessness - although a long time before I had a live baby and eclampsia, sickness in pregnancy and a very traumatic birth with my only child. I am so glad your baby's kidneys are now OK - Caja was born with a heart problem which led to her being small, but she is otherwise fine now.
I am sorry you did not get what you wanted out from seeing the GP, but maybe you will have to take her advice re the dose, she may have her reasons.
Are you having any counseling, support or therapy as many of us on here have found that medication alone is not the complete answer ( sorry if yo have told us about any counseling or therapy before, I am a bit out of touch at present)
I hope you continue to feel better and have a few more good days veritee XX
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Post by gizmoracer on Jan 19, 2008 21:14:13 GMT
Hi Chelle Just a thought, your GP may not have uped your dose because you are a bit under the weather at the moment and that will inevitably bring you down anyway. Perhaps if you still feel they need upping or even changing in a few weeks time you could speak with them again and might be more sucessful. Either way I hope things start to look up for you soon.
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nishka
Senior Member
Posts: 207
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Post by nishka on Jan 20, 2008 13:01:10 GMT
Hiya
How are you feeling? Sorry to hear about the doctor not upping your dose. If you strongly feel that you should be on a higher dose please go back and have another go - sometimes they don't realise how serious things are unless you bash them over the head!
Hey they curry for breakfast is completely normal in my book LOL.. I have been known to have chocolate, and sometimes even cook a pizza for breakfast! Whatever makes you happy xx
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Post by chelle2467 on Jan 20, 2008 15:07:36 GMT
lol well im glad im not completely bonkers - left over takeaway pizza is the best though - that can last me all weekend of i need it too!!!
Well today isnt too bad. Trevs mum and dad kept Jamie last night so we were only one child down this morning. I woke up so tired this morning though, that trev had to take sophie to church by himself. It wasnt too bad, as by the time he had fed my friends guinea pigs and chatted to probably half hte congragation, it was about 4 hours before he got home. Which was lovely for me! He also dug out some money from the jar (we have an old biscuit jar full of money that we save up till needed) and let me get a magazine to cheer myself up. We cant normally afford luxuries like that so it is lovely!! Jamie wont be home till close to bedtime tonight either so, as much as ilove him, im feeling a little relaxed!! Im going to go and curl up in front of star trek now with my magazine and some of the apple juice i treated myself to - 92p for a litre in the spar!!
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Post by winegirl on Jan 20, 2008 20:49:44 GMT
Hi Chelle
Hope you enjoyed the rest of your afternoon and had a lovely relaxing time with the mag! It is nice to have that sort of time to yourself once in a while, even if it is only for a few hours!
Hope tomorrow goes well for you x
WG x
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Post by chelle2467 on Jan 21, 2008 18:02:10 GMT
today hasnt been too bad. i woke up at 9.30 - we all over slept again - and was back in bed with sophie at 12. We both went with trev to pick Jamie up from playgroup later on which was nice as i havent been out properly for a couple of days!
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Post by cheshire on Jan 22, 2008 6:38:46 GMT
Glad to hear you had a better day
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Post by Scarlet on Jan 22, 2008 8:32:53 GMT
Hi Chelle,
Glad you managed to get yourself out. I find that I feel a whole lot better if I manage to get myself out during the day.
I watched the baby borrowers the other night, certainly would put me off having any kids when I was a teenager.
Hope you have a good day today
Scarlet X
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Post by chelle2467 on Jan 22, 2008 21:40:45 GMT
i seem to do nowt but sleep at the moment. i have had 2 naps this moirning and went to bed with the kids at 6.30pm. i woke up again at 8.30 with sophie cos she wouldnt settle so came down and gave her a bottle of milk. I have been reading ont he daily mail website about this guy who pushed his kids off the balcony last year. very sad. i remember when it happened. But the comments were mental. most of them seemed to be saying he needed locking up, when quite clearly he needs help. He was depressed and on meds, but that still doesnt mean he is going to be happy. It reminded me of when i was pregnant with sophie and one day i had been arguing with trev. as we were in town and going to cross the road, i just carriedf on walking. the cars just drove around me, and trev had jamie so didnt do anything which really annoyed me at the time. But i just remember thinking, if i can just get hit by one of these cars, then i wnot have to deal with having a daughter. thankfully i didnt, esp as jamie was watching me, but i got such a bollocking off trev. (yeah thanks babe).
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Post by Scarlet on Jan 23, 2008 10:16:11 GMT
I saw that news article as well Chelle and it was on the telly as well. Unnerved me a bit I have to say. Isn't it always the way that whenever there are murders /suicides etc. there's always a depression link lurking there somewhere. I'm always on the lookout, it's like when you are trying for a baby, all you see are pregnant women,
I think the comments from folks about this man, are due to ignorance. Prior to me suffering PNI, I probably would have thought the same, nowadays though I am more empathetic and can actually put myself in this guys position and know why he did what he did. Besides his wife isn't totally blameless as she provoked him by the sounds of it, knowing he had been clinically depressed.
Anyways putting things in perspective, there are millions upon millions of folks suffering depression who do not do things like that, only they aren't in the newspapers. We have to remember that, and the incidents of these episodes are actually very small.
How are you feeling today hun?
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Post by chelle2467 on Jan 23, 2008 14:00:45 GMT
well today i wish i was back in bed again!! haha i seem to be saying that alot at the moment. sophie has decided to get a cold again, so my nights are filled with getting up to her and trying to stop her screeching and waking jamie up! i managed to get a towel folded up under the head of her mattress, that seemed to work, but that wasnt till about 4.30am. i managed to get back to bed for an hour and a half this morning as i almost fell asleep on the front room floor!!
Sophie has learnt how to feed herself milk now though, which im really pleased at as i dont have to sit over her every single time now. She is getting better at eating aswell again. Tonight we are having spinich filled pasta. Jamie loves it so i thought i would try it with soph's too.
i feel quite numb these last few days, like i just dont care. I feel like i want another babi, but just so i can feel the kicking. I have already said there isno way i am having any more kids, i get worse each time!! but then i feel guilty cos i really love the two i have and to me, if i have any more i will be, ruining seems the wrong word but thats how it seems - ruining the family i have.
we are off to london next month so we can visit trevs family. i havent met most of them and he hasnt seen some of them for about 6 years. im not looking forward to it in a way because i dont do well with new people, esp all at once!! but on the tuesday afternoon, we get to go to the houses of commons or the houses of parliment (i forget which one) as our MP is there at the time and he has said he will give us a tour - he is a family friend too, which makes it better!!
i havent done any housework for days which is really winding trev up, but i just dont have the want to get on and do it. i know it is a mess, but im blocking it all out. which i know is bad, esp with 2 kids running around, but i see it and ignore it. god its so annoying, i wish i could just get on and do it
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Post by winegirl on Jan 23, 2008 14:43:52 GMT
Hi Chelle
I get like that with housework too, kind of see it there but I just cant deal with it. Its just taken me all afternoon to do the lunch time dishes coz every time i looked at them I just thought i couldnt be bothered.
I hope you afternoon picks up hun, and your tea sounds lovely! Wish we could eat nice things like that!
Take Care
WG x
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Post by chelle2467 on Jan 25, 2008 14:22:54 GMT
My paranoia has returned!!! I know this because i was sat in my bible study group, where i have been going for 3 years or so now so know them all. But i swear they are sat there laughing at me and talking about me quietly while the video was on. Then i think people are talking about me and laughing behind my back while im in town, in a queue, walking down the street..... it got so bad last time, that i would have to walk out of church as i could see people looking over at me then whispering to their friends next to them. Hence we didnt go to church for a few months lol
my mum and inlaws are also driving me mental right now my mum is taking the kids off us for a week in easter. she still lives in the same town as my dad, so i thought, seeing as dad hasnt even met sophie yet, maybe she could meet up with him for half an hour, one day, so he can see jamie again and meet his granddaughter. Fat chance. She threw a tantrum (bearing in mind she is 42 for crying out loud) and starting having a go at trev, making excuses such as "yeah but they are MY babies" um no, they are mine. i grabbed the phone and told her that i want her to take them to see him, it will only be for half an hour, even if she leaves them with him while she runs to the shop or something, as he is still their granddad. my step dad may be their granddad too, but he is my dad and in my eyes that makes it more so because of blood. she got sulky, so i handed the phone back to trev. she hung up a couple minutes later.
My inlaws. Oh My God. We asked them earlier if they could have either one or both of the kids tonight as trev is out forst thing tomorrow morning and wont be back till very late (something to do with the lib dems) and as i need a break, it would help me out. Now bear in mind they are both ill (he has M.E and she has epilepsy) and they whinge they dont see the kids enough as it is. MIL turned round and said "well i guess i will have to speak to your father". now they are coming over to the flat at some point i gather to discuss it. bloody hell, they had jamie when he was 3 weeks old for a few hours, then over night at 3 months old. i will be writing everything down in simple terms like i did with jamie, but they still cant decide whether or not they want to look after them. or even one of them. i would like them to have sophie at least as i desperately need to have a night away from her. they kep wanting to see more of her, but looking after her is just too hard. We dont know when they will come over as they say 3pm and that could mean anywhere between 3.15pm and 4.30pm. With no apology or explanation. I do understand if they arent well atm, but if they cant even look after these two for a whle night when they could quite happily look after trevs "sister"'s kids for 2 weeks alone then im going to be extremely angry. Because those kids are spoilt, nasty little brats (yes even trev agrees with me) and yet again our 2 kids are getting shunned. and they cant keep having just one of them at a time because one day the kids are going to pick up on itas ask why.
History repeating itself with me and my brother with my dads parents.
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