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Post by winegirl on Mar 19, 2008 12:49:44 GMT
Hi Chelle
Sorry you have been so poorly hun! Could have been one of these 24 hour things, there is lots going around!
The picture of you and your family is Fabulous! It has made me realise that we dont have one picture of me hubby and LO together and need to get one done!
Enjoy your book hun and make the most of resting on your break x
WG x
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Post by sianyc on Mar 20, 2008 13:18:05 GMT
The picture is lovely Chelle (and the dress is really pretty too)
Hope Trev gets it :-)
I hope you have a lovely week off x
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Post by chelle2467 on Mar 21, 2008 20:35:37 GMT
we have now decided (me and trev) that the kids are not going to stay at mums again for a while. we are sick to the back teeth of her. now i appreciate that she is ill with her ME or her fybro myalgia (or whatever it is she has decided to have this week) but her and si are still too ill with this bloody sickness and shits illness and she is starting to moan like hell about it.
she told me that they wont be able to stay the night when they drop the kids off as they still arent feeling well so need to rest. now let me get my head around this. they are going to rest by driving about 5hours to drop the kids off, while ill, stay for an hour or two for a drink, then rush off as fast as they can to drive another 4 or 5 hours to get back to warminster. yes because THAT is common fricking sense.
she has been moaning about how tired she is having to look after the kids. she goes on and on about jamie this, jamie that, me and jamie did that etc. i have to actually ask about how sophie is and what she has been doing (which i then start to feel guilty about, ie should i be asking etc then i realise well yes i bloody well should ask) she desnt seem to want to be very forwarding about that as she just tells me "yeah she is getting better, she is coughing as much" or the usual "yeah she is alright" then it is back to jamie again. what i can understand frm him when he talksm, he gives me more info about my daughter. i dont even know if she has started crawling yet, cos i am now worried that mum just wont tell me. (prob cos i told her that if soph starts crawling at hers then she isnt having the kids agina pmsl but she was horrified, even though i told her it was a joke)
jamie isnt going to bed till about 8ish most nights and she must think we are stupid cos she made out that jamie HASNT been going to bed at about 8 monst nights, but he hasnt been phoning till gone 7.30pm most of the week. she then said "yeah but you said on the sheet that anywher between 6.30pm and 8pm is his bedtime" i hit the roof and said that i had also told her it was a guideline. his main bedtime is 7pm which i tell her most fricking nights. she also woke sophie up one afternoon frm her nap to feed her and it took 2 hours and no food going in her for them to work out that she was still tired. when she told me i said that she doesnt wake her fo a feed. she said again that she was following my sheet i had given her. again i had to remind her that she was told it was only a guideline.
when jamie phoned this evening, the poor child couldnt talk properly cos he was so tired. this is at 7.15pm ffs. i appreciate they had been out most of hte day doing stuff, but mum came home with dophie so she could get her fed and in bed by 6.30pm but si and jamie didnt get hom untill almost 7pm with chips from the chippy. he was so tired he was falling asleep on mums chest as she was talking to me. she has also been bathing them EVERY NIGHT i was shocked and said you cant bath kids every night as it dries out their skin "oh, does it?" AARRRGGHHHHHH she then told us that as they wouldnt be staying the night, not to worry about doing tea. i told her i was doing pasta and meatballs for them and had got it in special. she said they would only be staying for a drink then going again as they are both still very ill. i said "oh so you arent staying for tea then" she said "oh well [heavy sigh] if we do then me and si will just go out and get sandwiches then" i hit the roof and yelled at her down the phone (mil was sat next to me aswell) saying that she wont get sandwiches, i will be making pasta and if they are hungry they will eat what i make them. harsh??? yes maybe but everytime we are down at hers they always make sure we eat what they cook and we arent allowed to get takeouts or our own food etc. she then made her excuses about jamie being asleep and left it there.
trev is disgusted with it all too. i was almost shaking with anger and i still feel a little teary when im writing this. through anger. they MIGHT be going down in august mum said, it depends on what si is doing and if they are moving or whatever. the one thing that makes it all sickening is that we had to make jamie stay off his VERY LAST WEEK of playgroup, missing out on all the fun, saying goodbye to all his friends etc before going to big school, because of their incompetence. we offered for her to come up for a week, but she said no cos of her husband (who we are under the impression that he only seems to want to do things with his family) and now they are whinging about it all. that is like a kick in the bloody teeth it really is.
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Post by chelle2467 on Mar 24, 2008 18:14:14 GMT
today i am just so numb. i know i have had a huge rant about mum and sometimes i feel so guilty for feeling hte way i do but tbh i am sick of it all. i was looking through the photos they took while the kids were away and most of them are of her friends little girl opening her birthday presents. now i know they couldnt go anywhere while they were away because, as it was drilled into meover and over through out the week, mum and si were both ill. but surely they could have taken photos in the flat or around town or even when they went to feed the ducks or something. the kids are wearing me down again and on top of that i might have diabetes. i have to go get checked again tomorrow. i was checked 8 years ago when dad was diagnosed with it, but it was negative then. but now im getting checked again. jamie has started kicking again, but is on his best behaviour the rest of the time. im under hte impression it is the eye of the storm as it were!!! he is usually so bloody annoying but since coming back sat afternoon, he has been so good. until today when he kicked and it sophie with a giant bath towel and ignored me over and over.
well he is off to bed after tea so i will hopefully get an hour to myself before sophie wakes up and my idea of an early night gets thrown out the window once more!!!
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Post by cheshire on Mar 25, 2008 23:02:59 GMT
Hi Chelle,
Read this yesterday - how are you now? x
How was the check re. diabetes ?
2 children = definitely more than 1+ 1 (!) and they sure do wear you down don't they? Esp. when they are both under 5...
Keep in touch, as you know, it will get easier x
Hopefulx
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Post by chelle2467 on Mar 27, 2008 8:22:38 GMT
well the urine test was neg but instead of just putting it down to the depression straight away, he sent me for blood tests to see if the tiredness is coming from something else. i was checked for diabetes, thyroid, anaemia (again). oh and apparently i was checked for diabetees in 2006!! i had no idea!!
i was meant to go to fantasy farm this morning with jamie and about 3 of his friends (and their mms of course!!) but cos the bank mucked up we only have enough for a bit of food this week. jamie doesnt know yet so i will see how things go and if he has forgotten then great, if not ill get his dad to explain when i kick him out of bed at 9am to climb back in!! (well he woke me up at 6am when he got in, i then had to feed sophie banana custard while chatting to him, jamie woke up at 6.30am and then sophie and trev went back to sleep, snoring while jamie led in bed whinging and reading!!)
but i do know what you mean about the kids!!! having 2 kids under 5 is just, too much for my brain to cope with at this time of hte morning haha
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Post by gizmoracer on Mar 27, 2008 9:17:29 GMT
Oh chelle good luck with Jamie and the farm. I hope he forgets. I have been there so many times and it makes you feel terrible when you can't do anything about it. I am constantly on the look out for fun things to do and places to go with the kids that are free. Its not easy to find any though is it.
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Post by chelle2467 on Mar 27, 2008 13:38:20 GMT
no i know! we have 2 parks here in aberystwyth, but it is such a manouvre getting out with both of them, then entertaining sophs while jamie runs around and i need to keep an eye on him, i just give up!! thankfully he hasnt mentioned the farm at all so we have just left it at that. he is in bed with sophie though (well seperate beds of course!) as he didnt get to bed till almost 9pm and was deterrmined to get up at 6am. he always says he isnt tired, but cos we have nice new fluffy pillows and duvet set, he falls asleep within minutes - its great!!
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Post by cheshire on Mar 28, 2008 9:42:53 GMT
Hi Chelle,
Yeah - 2 kids is enough for my brain to cope with too - esp. in the morning!!
It's good that they've done that range of tests - I had the same range done too, it's reassuring to know they are being thorough.
Hope you have a good day Hopefulx
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Post by chelle2467 on Apr 4, 2008 13:48:30 GMT
my goodness things have been busy!! i have been out every day this week with the kids and it has really worn meout.
on the down side of things, i am no longer going to see my therapist / councillor whatever the hell he is. i dont like him, i dont trust him and he gets really annoyed with me when i cant give him an answer. he asks me things like "how would Michelle like her life to be. what would be going on in michelles life if it was hte way she wanted it" so of course tell him i would like a second bedroom at least (thats not allowed to be talked about) so i tell him i would be able to cook fresh meals every night as i would be able to afford it (nope, cant talk about that either) my kids would be behaving themselves and would tidy up after themselves (nope thats not it either) he then gets really annoyed, huffing and puffing under his breath. he makes me feel worse with myself then cos i cant give him the answers he wants. he goes the long way round to tell me stuff and ask me questions then wonders why get stressed and tearful then when i dont understnad he tells mein asimple way. he obv hasnt looked at any of my notes and he has not asked me if i understnad things easily. i appreciate adults are meant to be able to do so, but i have a severe problem where i need things broken down easily and simply. he makes wme feel like crap when he does this. like im not good enough. i also told him last time that sometimes i feel like a child in an adults world. he asked me to expand on this so i did, saying about how me and trev met when we were still teens and where we have been in such a dire state for almost 4 yeasrs, in the same place, no money and it still feels like a bedsit, he didnt like that and didnt write anything down, getting huffy again cos i didnt give him the correct answer. i have just told trev all of this and i broke down so he has said im not going back again. i know you will all prob think he is controlling me but i dont have the strength to say "i dont want to come back and see you again" myself. i need him to do it for me. i would have kept going to see him and get more upset because i just cant say "no more" to him. im getting upset again writing all this down, so im off for now. plus sophie has just woken up so need to deal with her.
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Post by winegirl on Apr 4, 2008 20:25:39 GMT
Hi Chelle
Could you request with your mental health team to see another counsellor? I am sure if you are having a bad tim with this one they should try to find you somebody else to see??
WG x
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Post by chelle2467 on Apr 5, 2008 20:11:18 GMT
i would do but there are only 3 of them and it was which ever one was fre as to who i got. they are based down in south wales as it is so have to travel up here just to see me. tbh with all the hassle we have had with them, both me and trev, i think my trust has gone in them. im just going to ask my other doc if i can change meds now.
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Post by winegirl on Apr 5, 2008 20:33:18 GMT
Let us know how you get on hun??
WG x
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Post by chelle2467 on Apr 25, 2008 20:26:01 GMT
my god it has been a while!! Well i am now on 40mg of citalopram - trevs doc gave them to me after my doc said they wouldnt go any higher ggrrrr
I am very close to a mental breakdown as Jamie is really playing up. I am just going to be so glad to get him back to school on monday. He has been off nearly 2 weeks as he had an operation a couple weeks ago. His belly button looks much better and more normal now. Apart from the jagged scar above it - but that will fade! There is aproblem with sophies legs - she cant crawl as her foot is twisted outwards so she cant get the push she needs. thankfully she can drag herself and go backwards but she just wont crawl. It looks like it will affect her walking too -if she will be able to.
i am just so numb at the moment i just want to curl up in bed and let trev deal with the kids. sadly he is now on AD again. He has been getting worse. He was meant to go on htem a year ago but he was having pains in his back. they have gone so he spoke to his doc. he is back ont he same dose he was as last time - 60mg ggrrr he only wanted a small dose temporarily.
ah well, we just plod on as normal!!
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Post by gizmoracer on Apr 25, 2008 20:47:43 GMT
Things will get better for you Chelle. Especially now your meds have been upped and Trev is back on his. Jamie is recovering from his op which will be one big thing off your mind and back at school on Monday will help. Regards Sophie, what have the docs said? Do they have any plans for her? Try not to worry these things have a way of getting sorted.
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