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Post by nicola1712 on Jun 30, 2009 19:21:51 GMT
I get that when I am anxious about stuff - start thinking about deep and heavy stuff, like how did it I get to where I am today, what would me in a parallel life be doing etc....Have to stop myself too or I could go on forever!
This heat probably isn't helping - keeps making us all drained and fed up.
Try to keep distracted/busy - even if just watching telly under a fan and hope you feel a bit better soon.
xxx
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Post by cokey on Jun 30, 2009 22:27:15 GMT
Hi Lara
I have been anxious and tearful this week too for no reason, a bit panicky too. I think the weather makes everyone grained, fed up and a bit uptight but for us it heightens our emotions and triggers our anxiety. I am sure next weekl the weather will be pants again and we will actually be happier.
Cokey xx
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Post by winegirl on Jul 1, 2009 19:28:15 GMT
How have things been today for you Lara? Has the anxiety eased off at all??
Thinking of you (())
WG xx
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Jul 3, 2009 21:58:27 GMT
Hi All,
Thanks for your messages.
Been feeling so up and down for the last few days. Thought pattern goes like this:-
Feel ok for a few days, start thinking that I have been feeling good for a while, start getting a tad worried about feeling crap again, worry starts spiralling until I feel like crap and questioning the world and everything, it gets to a point where my head is going to explode and I kind of think 'bollocks to it' I've had enough and think ;whatever' and start to relax again until I'm back to feeling ok again. It's like I have a compulsion to worry and once I've had a good worry I feel ok again.
I am feeling ok at the moment and all is good with the world (apart from Andy Murray losing today so gotta re-think my Sunday) but give it a few days and I'll be back on here moaning. I reckon I get bored so it's something to do. Bloody nutter!
x
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Post by winegirl on Jul 4, 2009 7:16:51 GMT
Hi Lara
You are doing great hun - glad you are on an up at the moment!
Yes gutted about Murray myself - we british get so excited and then it all just gets dashed again.
Hope you stay up for the weekend as the forecast has now changed again to say it is going to be sunny!
Love
WG xx
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Jul 5, 2009 12:54:14 GMT
Thanks WG. I have to admit that we are not up to much today so I will still probably end up watching the tennis because I do like Roger Federer.
Feeling shitty at the moment. Yesterday I just did a few jobs and then popped to the shops. Came home and had lunch then took Daisy to a local school fete which was lovely. When we got home B&SIL were round with the kids so spent much of the evening with them. OH was quite randy and kept asking if we could have some sex later that night. I did say maybe because I want to keep him happy but really I couldn't give a toss. Anyway....later came and he asked if I was up for it and I had to turn him down. The thought of it makes me feel ill and I can't even do it any more just to keep him happy. Needless to say he stropped off to bed so I bedded down in the lounge as I couldn't be bothered to go upstairs to the atmosphere. About half an hour later he came down and turned the telly off. I must have been dozing as I woke up with a bit of a start. Decided to go up to bed but as I sat on the loo I felt all panicky. I got in bed and it just escalated and I was in full blown panic mode. It was awful I had to try so hard to calm myself down and as soon as i did it started off again. I just wanted to get up and start running around. I had visions of OH having to call an ambulance. It wasn't really the physical side of it but the mental side. It's all of the thoughts that trigger it and it is so hard to distract myself from them. They get way out of control. In the end I obviously must have distracted myself long enough for it to subside and to go to sleep. This morning when we woke up he was ok with me. He asked for some nookie this morning but I declined and told that I was feeling crap because I had had a really bad panic attack last night. He apologised and said that he was sorry that he made me feel like that. I did tell him that he is entitled to feel like that because he is there all of the time and doesn't really get anything in return from me. . He asked if I was going to apologise but i said that I couldn't apologise for not wanting sex. I want to want it but I can't just apologise for being me. A bit later we had a bit of a heart to heart and I just told him that I do love him but in the way that he turns me on. He did ask if I fancied anyone else and I told him that I didn't (OK maybe the odd fantasy about Brad Pitt). It basically just comes down to the fact that if you took sex out of our relationship then everything would be fine. Needless to say now he is walking round like a bear with a sore head and the atmosphere is crap here at the moment. Daisy has gone off with his parents for a few hours and poor little Jamie has laryngitis I think because he has lost his voice, has a temp and is sleeping for England so it's a boring Sunday in store.
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Post by winegirl on Jul 5, 2009 18:58:41 GMT
Lara
I can 100% relate to what you are going through.. i too cannot even bring myself to do the deed to just make OH happy these days.. It is very upsetting for both of us but it is him I feel for...
I am asssured that it does get better.. I am just wondering when?
Perhaps I ought to start a hidden section on the board up for men who's partners dont want to sleep with them?
How did the rest of today go for you hun? How is Jaimie doing??
WG xx
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Post by cokey on Jul 6, 2009 19:46:42 GMT
Hi Ladies I am just the same - I have to really want it myself. If Paul wants it and pesters and I give in, I could cry and I feel like I have been violated. He isn't persistent and is very tolerant but I also feel bad. I don't know if its because I persoanlly only ever see it as lovemaking and never just sex. And because our emotions have been 'worn out' - the emotion of mating is too much to cope with just yet. Just a theory. Hope you feel better soon. Sorry about your panic attack lara, they are awful arent they and I agree its the mental feelings that get out of control not the physical. I have previously demanded an ambulance. Didnt get one though, Paul opted for hot sweet tea I have a book Lara about how to overcome worry. PM me your address and I will send it to you. Need to send yours back too WG - will do that. Cokey xx
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Post by madmummy on Jul 7, 2009 12:37:38 GMT
Hi, I'm quite new and still find it a bit weird to find other people writing my thought down. It has been the same for me and my husband. I just didn't have any emotional energy left to make love. Added into being uncomfortable and unsuccessful on previous attempts I just couldn't be less interested. We agreed that if I didn't want to have sex then we wouldn't. Therefore we haven't had sex for 6 months. My husband is very unhappy and frustrated. He has pestered me for months and been very unhappy at this loss of intimacy. It has had a huge impact on our relationship and we have started marriage councelling a few weeks ago. I have been able to communicate better that I love him and would like some intimacy as well but can't help feeling the way I do and it is PNI which has reduced my libido not that I don't fancy him. He has realised I still have needs but they are more in the form of hugs and kisses. The improved communication and physical affection without expecting anything has made a huge difference. I feel like he is listening to my needs again and have loved to affection and felt more secure and loved. We had sex for the first time at the weekend. It was successful and I enjoyed it! I feel like I have regained something so important to both me and my relationship. Hope my story helps MM
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Jul 14, 2009 12:32:35 GMT
I just wanted to get a quick post in now before I forget. Gotta shoot off to swimming soon so will make it brief.
On sat I noticed that I was ovulating (change in bodily secretions;-) (to put it mildly)). This can last up to a week so I guess I never know exactly when I ovulate but yesterday I did have stomach cramps. Anyway....dropped Daisy at preschool and was walking to tots. Was thinking about summer hols and the fact that I would need to get on the comp and look for things to do when I had this huge wave of dread come over me. I started feeling really panicky and it was awful. Panic lasted seconds and managed to talk myself round and was fine when I got to tots but it was just so out of the blue which upset me cos usually manage to start it off myself. Anyway....got home and went to the loo and secretions still there so what with that and stomach ache yesterday I guess the hormones must have just changed so am putting my wobble down to that and trying not to dwell on it.
Must go cos gotta leave the house but will get on here later x
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Post by winegirl on Jul 14, 2009 13:04:52 GMT
Hey Lara
I think i suffer with hormone wobbles to.. but as you well know with the PCOS i can just never figure it out! I am now on week 7 without a period and thought i ovulated 4 weeks ago so guess I got that wrong!
You do right to put it down to the hormones, you know you are prone around that time to anxiety so just try to ride it out till it settles again. You are doing great mate x
Hope you have a nice time swimming!
WG xx
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Post by nicola1712 on Jul 14, 2009 15:00:58 GMT
I used to get that discharge when I was ovulating too - ha, could be worse have had it for nearly seven months now am pregnant - nice!! And the hormone wobbles!!
xx
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Jul 14, 2009 20:26:52 GMT
Thanks for that. I think that's what it is. I am on day 21 of my cycle so just wanted to note that down as well.
x
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Post by winegirl on Jul 17, 2009 8:48:29 GMT
Have things picked up for you now Lara??
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Jul 17, 2009 21:05:13 GMT
Not really H. Things have descended into a bit of a negative slump for me at the mo so am feeling a bit down and worry, worry, worry. Hoping it will pass soon though. x
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