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Post by bean on Oct 18, 2013 19:36:38 GMT
Hey people... bean here  have been thinking about and speaking about my time here with everyone and how it helped me. I am just going to share my self harm poems with a very special person to me who ive never showed these to but want to share. I will post soon because have just read through a couple of posts and remember what it was like and how it felt .. all the freaking time... relentless . but I will write soon to update you on how my life has turned upside down and changed completely and i feel like a different woman. PNI can be lived with, fought with, survived with!!! We just need to believe that we are strong enough to rid this awful soul destroying illness.. it is not indestructable! Anyway ranting away post soon going to chill as off to Cyprus tomorrow with no kids for a week... see ladies... times do certainly change . Bean x |
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Post by juppster on Oct 19, 2013 20:33:30 GMT
Lovely to hear from you x
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Post by bean on Nov 4, 2014 11:01:57 GMT
Hello
Ive not been on for ages but have been asked by my old therapist to do an interview regarding my self harm so have re read my poems and am seeing her tonight she asked for this favour to help her with her trainees and to give an outlook from the sufferers point of view. I wouldn't have been able to do this a while ago but I actually feel ok about it albeit a bit nervous but she has helped me change my life and if it will help others then I'm happy to do this. I don't self harm like I used to although had a very minor slip up few weeks ago which i understand why i slipped and didn't dwell on it as I used to I think it may always be something that i fall back on when i feel bad but it's how i manage it that is and will be different.
I found myself in a relationship again that wasn't healthy and was being verbally abused and once physically. I've managed to gain the strength to end the relationship and am not going back there because I deserve much more and value myself and my children so much now I don't need to beat myself up any longer about having pni or self harming and feel happier than i have in a very long time.
I'm so happy that my diary is still here for me also for others to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel when they may not feel it.
Thanx pni.org and Veritee for giving us all this safe space x
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Post by sarajay28 on Nov 4, 2014 13:38:12 GMT
How great to hear from you! You sound like you've really come out the other side and it's lovely to read a positive story. Glad you found the strength to end that relationship, it's so hard to do so well done. Great to hear from you again xx
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Post by Weeble on Nov 4, 2014 21:03:42 GMT
HI Bean
lovely to hear from you and sorry you are having a tough time again, I know when things are really tough or you are feeling shit its so easy to hurt ourselves, I do all sorts of things to relieve the pain and stress and my crap feelings about myself. Please keep talking to us.
k
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Post by monica on Nov 5, 2014 16:09:51 GMT
Great to hear from you and that ur doing so well. It's all down to you and ur strength of character and now I can help others who are struggling. You've got so much to give - well done x
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Post by bean on Nov 6, 2014 14:14:55 GMT
Hello just thought I'd let you know that the interview went really well and I ve had message from therapist saying the recording went down a storm she said every one said how real and honest i was but really with a subject like this honesty is the only way to be i poured my heart out but in a good way and it was weird in a way because im not in the place i used to be so felt good thinking how desperate i was but not anymore. Don't know if that makes sense. After the interview she left me alone to read out my two poems which id said i would do. She said id given her some really helpful feedback to about the service available on nhs and my own tools i put in place to deal with the self harm and also ideas on additional help they could provide.
Anyway just wanted to let you know and also that I didn't dwell on it hasn't left anything but good impression on me so feel quite proud I never used to think i would change in my thinking but it proves to me that I have.
So onwards and upwards I say and I have a date tomorrow ☺️ lol just fun and time to enjoy life i say and my nanna used to say life is for living and she's so right im just gonna concentrate on me and kids no more relationships for me for a ver long time lol x i did bump into the ex before my interview was weird but i just blanked the person and felt good cos I looked really good and they didn't haha. It's good to b able to come back and let u all know how things have changed thanx ladies x
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Post by Weeble on Nov 6, 2014 17:30:29 GMT
Such great news well done you :-)
Sent from my C6903 using proboards
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have been thinking about and speaking about my time here with everyone and how it helped me. I am just going to share my self harm poems with a very special person to me who ive never showed these to but want to share. 
