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Post by monica on Jun 29, 2021 19:32:43 GMT
Hi
It sounds like a positive that your husband has apologised for something .
Could you go Turkey for a bit longer? Maybe seeing friends and family plus having help might give you a huge boost. Returning and staying somewhere else for 19 days with baby sounds like a nightmare ! And v hard work. What do you think you’ll do?
I hope you feel ok post vaccine. My eldest son had covid - I’m sure he had mildly in March last year but he’s got it without symptoms so we’re having to self isolate. V frustrating…
I’m sure little ones will love the music group. You enjoy it too. Mine used to go to jo jingles amd it was brilliant . Don’t worry if baby cries etc - it doesn’t matter x
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Post by justmommy on Jul 8, 2021 11:06:13 GMT
Hi Monica, Music class was nice but towards the end she got bored heheh. She’s been unwell this week. We thought she had a nappy rash and then she got little blood in her diaper etc etc. We took her to the doctor she had thrush and also got an infection from a food ot sth. My husband worried a lot so i had to be one calm, which was hard. When i tried to be extra calm i felt and little my husband’s effect, like i don’t worry enough. Anyhow she is much better now. I am sorry to hear about your son. Well not sure how this red amber green list will go. Just feel extra extra tired, harder to get out of the bed. I wonder if it is because of the antidep.
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Post by monica on Jul 10, 2021 11:27:33 GMT
Hi
So pleased you’re daughter is better. It’s horrible when they’re unwell . It sounds like you were the calm one in this situation - you’re brilliant! Well done ! Bering level headed is a really positive attribute especially if your husband is panicking a bit.
I’m sorry you’re feeling tired. Maybe see dr? Could be life with a baby - that’s really tiring - or maybe anaemia ?
Good news on the travel front but I guess it doesn’t help you with Turkey as I think you still have to self quarantine in a hotel. What will you do?
We’re all fine - my son had no covid symptoms thankfully so it was more of a case of getting through the 10 days at hime. Generally I was busy but it was nice just having the time to stop without pressures of daily life x
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Post by justmommy on Jul 14, 2021 12:07:02 GMT
Hi, For me it was hard to stay calm, but what hapens is i am able to stay calm and when all finishes then i feel stressed or down you know. When we go to Turkey we won’t qurntinee but in return who knows I didn’t think anemia; if some holiday doesn’t change it i have to see my gp i guess.we argued with my husband and we did a serious talk i hope some things can change. He still finds my ppa being abnormal and thinks i don’t need antidepressant. Etc
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Post by monica on Jul 17, 2021 7:14:58 GMT
Hi
It is difficult! It’s great though thst you can stay calm in stressful situations though it can be tough after when things catch up with you. Let yourself have a moment to ‘wobble’ - it’s only natural! Then congratulate yourself on keeping calm.
I’m sure your holiday will help how you feel - probably your husband too. Being amongst friends and family, ha I g help amd relaxing will bith do you the world of good.
How are things with your husband after your argument. I hope it’s cleared the air. Sadly many partners don’t understand this illness but have confidence - you’re doing so well amd should be proud of how well your managing x
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Post by justmommy on Jul 20, 2021 18:00:54 GMT
Thank you very much for your support. Well we argued few more times; now we are better, but we have to work on our rship. Both of us so tired, don’t have the energy each other i am afraid. Yesterday morning i woke up with somethibg similar to panic attack, not sure why happened😞
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Post by monica on Jul 23, 2021 14:06:37 GMT
Hi Justmommy
So sorry about the panic attack - that must have been distressing for you. Do you know what triggered it? How have you been since?
It sounds like you and your husband are communicating and that’s positive. Having a baby for most couples puts huge pressure on the relationship. There’s a whole new dynamic, differen t opinions on how to bring up baby, tiredness and no time , energy or often desire to try to work as a team . It’s hard!
Hope this hot weather has been bearable. Today is nicer in my opinion x
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Post by justmommy on Aug 2, 2021 12:29:23 GMT
Hi Monica Sorry for being missing it’s been really hard on off arguing with my husband We are hoping to go to Turkey this Saturday. I am also stressing going there i guees, what to take with me; what to order there so we would be ok with my baby. Also my rship my dad is not ao great and it will be the first time with her; he’s not excited as much as my in law etc. Everything makes me frustrated. I need a break i guess My patience /tolerence is very low. Its been almost 9 months with the baby.
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Post by monica on Aug 2, 2021 17:54:16 GMT
Lovely to hear from you as always! I’m sorry things are tough for you and the arguments with your hubby can’t be nice.
I know the trip might seem challenging after all what you pack, travel, you’re used to your routine here but try to take steps to have a break , catch up with people and just to relax . I image both you and husband need a rest. Perhaps you can get away just the two of you over night? It’d be great I’m sure!
Keep in touch ! Always here for a virtual chat! X
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Post by monica on Sept 5, 2021 20:56:23 GMT
Hi Justmommy
I thought I’d check in with you to see how you are. I hope your trip to Turkey has and is great , you’re getting some rest and generally having g a great time!
Monica
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Post by justmommy on Oct 5, 2021 10:01:45 GMT
Hi Monica, It’s been long time☺️ We have been in Turkey, couldn’t return back for a while because of this red list etc. We kept changing plans. Finally we got back last week, and able to fly directly. Our trip was ok. I thought that it would be much better-not sure why but i kept my expectations too high i guess. I thought i would be rested but now i feel more tired. Although we had more help there, i guess this time some emotional and familly issues made me tired. My rship with my dad is just frustrating. He loved his granddaughter, my baby but in some aspects still he is acting strange for me. Before we return my heart racing started etc. I am really aftaid i will be back how i was the last winter. My husband most likely will start to going back to office and my girl is really mobile. Still waiting upper teeth to come. I have to set up new routine i guess. I am so tired. I shouldn’t be. I gained weight i guess that doesn’t help my energy as well. With this chaos i need to find a way to be on diet. How was your summer?
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Post by monica on Oct 8, 2021 7:32:39 GMT
Hi Justmommy
Great to hear from you (sorry I'm replying so late! - life is crazy!)
Glad Turkey was ok even if not what you wanted it to be. I guess it was a change of scenery? I'm sorry the relationship with your father was quite difficult. What is he like?
I think you're anxiety about returning to UK is normal. You were returning to the place that you associated with low mood etc and therefore, you're worried it'll be like it was. You really are in a different place - it might not be perfect, yet, but you are better than you were and that really is positive.
I'm guessing you're feeling a bit scared your husband is going back to the office? On the plus side you won't have to sit in your bedroom whilst he works so hopefully that extra space will be a positive change. Wow I can't believe how fast your daughter is growing! Yes it's a different stage and more physical for sure, but there are positives too. She'll be interacting with you more and hopefully you can get out and about more.
I hear you about the weight gain! I've ballooned too. But hey you've just had a baby and it's sooo hard to lose it when your hormones are still all over the place. Try to get into a routine - maybe after your husbabd gets home go and do an exercise class or go swimming - something for you.
My summer was good thanks. The daily stresses associated with school etc stopped so I felt I could relax a bit and we had a wonderful holiday in Scotland. I love my holidays but with all the lock downs etc it was hard to get a way so this break was perfect x
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Post by justmommy on Oct 8, 2021 9:14:55 GMT
Hi Monica, I am glad you were able to getaway, although it wasn’t like summer holiday’s we used to have i guess we have to appreciate these kinds as 🤷🏻♀️ My rship with my father was never perfect. He changed more and more after my mom died (4.5 years ago) my mom was doing everything so he had a comfortable life. He is like specially trying not to do any favour to me. Although my brother is the bad apple, my father is trying more to keep his rship with him( my brother lives in USA) Its a tradition and normal thing to get a gift to the mother and the daughter, something meaningful/ can last long time/something precious. He didn’t get me anything, and to my girl he only got few expensive jumpers that’s it. He saw our friends and family bring gifts but he didn’t di anything. When i reminded him about a watch promise. He just bubbled nonsense. Of course this is one of the things. But the main thing is if i don’t cal him he is ok, he doesn’t know i have ppa even if i tell him he doesn’t care. He is uninterested anything. He doesn’t feel to ask if we need anything since she has born etc. Its messed up and when i compare something with my inlaws it just makes me really sad. Most likely i associated here of course with bad memories as well. It’s just hard feeling alone and not supported beside my husband. We had up and downs this summer and i was like ok i am done about our rship. I was in a different kind of mind set. For my health, i really need to do something about the weight i gained. The strange thing is i was thin and ok when after the birth(few months later) after i stopped breastfeedinf at forth month i started to gain weight🤦🏻♀️I am replacing my issues with food i guess. I need to get up again and set a new routine myself again.
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Post by monica on Oct 9, 2021 20:44:55 GMT
Hi
I’ve just read what you wrote about your dad and was wondering whether he could be depressed since the death of your mum (I’m so sorry to hear that - must be so difficult especially now you have your own child). It sounds like you feel unsupported by him whatever the reason for him not showing you the affection you want. Could you tell him how you feel? Maybe he doesn’t realise how you feel?
I’ve never had a good relationship with my dad. He’s a good, decent man but I suspect was never able to meet my emotional needs (he’s on the autistic spectrum) and I think I’ve pushed him away. Saying that it’s only over the past few years that I’ve come to realise and to a degree accept he never had the capacity to meet those needs and that has helped me accept the situation for what it is.
How are things with hubby now? A baby can really upset the status quo of most relationships .
Maybe try to incorporate a bit of exercise into your routine. Don’t forget you’ve had a baby snd hormones can have an effect as well as the fact your body has gone through big changes. It’s hard though. I battle with weight …
Monica x
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Post by justmommy on Oct 21, 2021 11:26:17 GMT
Hi Monica,
With my mom being not here makes everything si hard. It’s been over 4 years now. I am guessing my dad is depressed or in denial-not fully accepting my mom’s death. If i talk with him, it’s usually ends up with, him saying “ohh you are acting/being like a child” tHat’s his defense mode. After a point i quit understanding him, although it made me a loss emotional/money wise as well for my mental health. But now again, his being akward to my baby, he likes her etc but that’s it. I feel like he is brain washed by my older brother and he is already 77 years old. I feel like i can’t change, anyway it is complicated. With my husband, i still feel like we are in a war. Although from time to time he shows affection. Baby and him mostly working from home make really hard for our rship. I kind of gave up to work on our rship now. My baby girl is almost 1 year old. We are still waiting her upper teeth to come. I think after she is one, i will register her to a daycare for her sake and mine☺️ Sometimes i feel guilty when i try to make my space. Sometimes my husbands questions make me feel quilty. I don’t know where this guilt comes from🤦🏻♀️
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